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Sup, another Pole here. Im going to tell you a rather funny memory from my childhood. Back when i was 10, i was OBSESSED with the game Far Cry 1, i loved that game since i was 5 but when i was ten, my obsession has reached its peak. I kept on creating various "bootleg" homebrew Far Cry merchandise, including plasticine figurines of the game enemies, a bootleg solution to the game, and a solution to my made-up "Far Cry 2" that more resembled a fantasy game than a Far Cry game. But that's not the point. When i was ten i was in my "rebelous teen" phase and i kept on watching stuff "for adults" like a Polish adult cartoon called Kapitan Bomba, i listened to vulgar music, etc. I also made weird MS Paint pictures full of swearwords...

And one of them was Lilo & Stitch: The Game. Yes. I said that. I loved to create .txt or .bmp files that would describe various games that i made up in my mind. And Lilo & Stitch: The Game. Don't worry, there will be no cussing here, just a quick flashback on what it really was, unfortunately i lost my 2010/2011 files in a computer error back in 2012. That's a shame because i would propably laugh as like a crazy man seeing how pathetically "edgy and cool" i tried to be. Well, there was a Lilo & Stitch game, i remember it was called something like "Mutants are coming" or "Mutagen storm", etc. Basically - Lilo lives on the Far Cry archipelago, attacks Far Cry 1 mutants with Stitch, and guess what - the mutants from Far Cry 1 teamed up with Jumba's experiments to "destroy humanity". Lilo was still a little girl, but fought using guns, grenades and rocket launchers, sometimes injecting herself (if i remember correctly) with mutagen to get some sort of a power-up. Man, i was weird. If that game would ever be produced by Disney outside of my 10-year old brain i bet some lawsuits would come up, am i right? Heh...


Next victim of my imagination was...Bambi. Yes. I turned Lilo into Duke Nukem, so what could i do with a cute, innocent deer?

The answer is...

When i turned eleven years old i stopped trying to be edgy and cool, and i became more...calm. I started writing books that were just...laughable. I considered them to be Harry Potter-level at the time, but now they are so poorly written, that i can't stop laughing. I made two of them about Bambi (yup, a sequel, because the first one was soooo popular!). Bambi was essentially living in some sort of a forest school with other animals and teachers, and it was basically a bootleg of French books "Le Petit Nicholas" with me bootleging basically EVERY character - the fat greedy kid, the corageous kid, the bully kid, the stick-in-the-mud teacher, good hearted director, etc. It was a illogical mess, the animals lived like humans (kinda like XX-th century Zootopia) in giant trees and caves, a chimpanzee bus driver was also present, some pointless characters appeared, and the fierce hunter from the first part got his dignity and creepiness sucked out of him, and became a comic relief villain.


All of this is true.