"Troy Song" is a song from the episode "Troy Story", sung by Dan Povenmire as a Trojan soldier and a horse, while the boys recreate Troy's story under Buford's direction.


Soldier: There was a hottie named Helen and she launched a thousand ships with her face
Paris took her home to Troy, and to the Greeks this was a slap in the face
Greek: The Trojans stole Helen!
Soldier: Agamemnon got mad 'cause that just wasn't right
He said, “Hold your Trojan horses, now we're having a fight!
And I haven't sacked or pillaged since at least last Saturday night."

Horse: And for ten years they were all
Slamming! And jamming! And clashing! And gashing!
And brawling! And mauling! And trashing! And smashing!
When they finally figured out they couldn't take 'em by force
The Greeks all got together, and they hid in a horse!

Soldier: Bagpipe solo!

Troy Troy Troy Troy!

Baljeet: You know, bagpipes are sort of anachronistic for this time period-
Buford: Quiet, you! Go back to being vanquished!

Phineas, Isabella, Milly, Ginger: Troy Troy Troy Troy!

Milly, Ginger, other kids: Troy Troy Troy Troy!

Irving: Troy Troy Troy!

Background information

  • Second song sung by one of the creators of the show and the kids (Chupacabra Ho).
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