- “We’re doing nothing today.”
- ―Phineas Flynn
“The Best Lazy Day Ever” is the second half of the 18th episode of the first season of the American TV series Phineas and Ferb.
Phineas and Ferb decide to do absolutely nothing for the day. Candace questions her purpose in life after realizing that she can’t bust her brothers for doing nothing. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is tired of being the ugliest person around, so he invents a device that can turn anything and anyone ugly.
Phineas and Ferb wake up, and Phineas ‘beats’ his alarm clock. He asks Ferb if he’s ready to make a safe backyard train station, and Ferb was ready. They zoom out of the house, announcing their jobs for the day. Phineas notices that it’s a beautiful day, and that all of nature is relaxing. Phineas and Ferb decide to do nothing that day. Meanwhile, Candace is talking on the phone with Stacy. Candace says that she’s ready for Jeremy’s band Jeremy and the Incidentals to perform at the summer festival, however, when she notices the time she is curious as to why everything seems so normal. Looking out her window, Candace sees Phineas and Ferb standing doing nothing. Linda and Candace both find that the boys are just relaxing, and the former leaves the house as usual (Linda mentions she is going to the summer festival to set up her tea cozy stand). Phineas realizes that Perry is gone, who by now had already entered his secret lair. Candace then walks over to Phineas and Ferb to warn them not to ruin her day with their usual antics. Still suspicious over her brothers’ motives, Candace later contacts Linda to complain that Phineas and Ferb are messing up her day by doing nothing. Linda convinces Candace to relax and leave her brothers to their “do nothing day.” Candace concedes to her mother’s advice and eventually decides to just enjoy herself for the rest of the day until Stacy picks her up for the concert later.
This proves to be a challenge for Candace as she realizes that not a single one of her day-to-day actions doesn’t involve busting her brothers. So she attempts to tempt them with blue prints, including a throw-back to both the Time Machine and the Shrinking Submarine (the Time Traveling Submarine). Without any options remaining, she watches TV, where she sees an ad for a giant T-Rex slide (The “Amazing Man-Eating Dinosaur-Themed-Totally-Sick Water Slide of Doom”) that can be assembled by even a five-year old. Ordering it, she believes that the boys will eventually try to show her how to build it (because they’re men) and while doing so, Candace plans to call Linda and thus bust them in the act.
Meanwhile, Perry is told by a preoccupied Major Monogram to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz. When Perry attempts to confront his arch-nemesis he is struck by the Slow-motion-inator, causing him to, obviously, move in slow motion. Doofenshmirtz explains that he plans to turn everyone in the Tri-State Area ugly (by means of the Ugly-inator) to make up for his own apparent lack of handsomeness by harnessing the ugliness of a horned frog. To test his invention he fires it at Vance Ward, transforming him gruesomely. Dr. Doofenshmirtz goes on to execute the rest of his evil plan from the comfort of his living room (complete with flat screen TV and recliner chair) suspended from a giant balloon.
Back at the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, Candace attempts to lure her brothers into helping her build the water slide by constructing it next to where her brothers are relaxing. The initial endeavor failed, with a rebuttal from Phineas to keep the noise down. Undeterred, Candace resumes building the giant water slide, while constantly pointing out how fun the whole operation seems and how it reminds her brothers of their previous construction projects. As Candace nears the completion of the water slide (with Phineas and Ferb still refusing to join her) she doesn’t hear her phone ringing.
On Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s floating living room, Perry (still in slow motion) appears to reach for the Ugly-inator but is quickly intercepted by Dr. Doofenshmirtz who mocks Perry for being too slow to do so. However, Perry instead was aiming for the Slow-motion-inator (situated nearby) and reverses its effect on him, returning Perry back to normal speed. A fight ensues between Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, with Perry being struck by the Ugly-inator in the process. A transmogrified Perry launches himself at Dr. Doofenshmirtz (who was laughing at Perry’s appearance), causing him to accidentally bump into a lever which triggers an anchor to drop (albeit not reaching the ground).
Stacy arrives at Candace’s backyard and was briefly shocked to see Candace sitting atop the giant water slide she built in her obsessive attempt to bust her brothers. Stacy climbs up the slide to ask her why Candace hasn’t answered any of her calls and to remind her of the concert. Just as Candace returns to her senses, the anchor from Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s floating living room hooks on to the slide and lifts it up into the air, aiming it towards the summer festival.
Meanwhile, Jeremy and the Incidentals are performing on stage (singing Do Nothing Day), but the struggle between Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz causes a stray beam from the Ugly-inator to strike the band and the audience, transforming the whole scene into a heavy metal rock concert. The rope connecting the anchor snaps, thus landing the giant water slide, along with Stacy and Candace, onto the stage. Stacy doesn’t realize that the heavy-metal band is, in fact, a transmogrified version of Jeremy and the Incidentals, even remarking it to be the “opening act.” As Perry continues to fight with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, the gun strikes Dr. Doofenshmirtz, but he doesn’t suffer from any transformation, apparently due to fact that he was already ugly to begin with. Perry then reverses the effect of the Ugly-inator by substituting the horned frog for Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s autographed picture of Vance Ward. Perry then restores Vance Ward, Jeremy, his band, the rest of the concert audience, and he back into the original state. Vance Ward panics and escapes by jumping down from the floating living room, but is rescued by Perry who shoots both himself and the actor with the Slow-motion-inator, hence leading to them falling slowly to the ground. As they descend, Perry fires the reversed-ugly-inator at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's balloon, turning it into a giant pink heart-shaped balloon with the inscription “I Love Goodness” on it. Linda arrives at home to find her sons still enjoying their best lazy day ever. Perry appears (now in his pet guise) along with a still slow-motioned Vance Ward. Back at the concert, Candace and Stacy join Jeremy and the Incidentals by singing the ending chorus to Do Nothing Day. During the end logos, Candace says “This is the best day ever.”
The "Too Young" Line
Truck Driver: By the way, aren't you a little too old to be building one of these?
Candace: Why yes. Yes, I am.
Ferb: And with handsome movie actor Vance Ward... He seems much faster on TV.
Perry's entrance to his lair
He took a tunnel hidden in the trash.
Candace: Alright, what gives? It's already nine o'Clock and there's no construction noise, no delivery trucks no... no nothing? They're just standing there, like statues! Statues...
(In Candace's mind)
Candace: Today is a pivotal moment in my life. You see, Jeremy's band is gonna play at the festival. Jeremy's gonna see me in the crowd, not just because I have front row seats, but because I'm gonna be cheering harder than anyone else! Like this: "WHOO! YEAH! WHAA! BABY! OH, YEAH SING IT!" Then we're gonna date through high school and college, marry and have two kids — Xavier and Amanda. So don't you dare try to ruin it with one of your little project thingies!
Candace: Well, if they really are doing nothing, I guess I've got some time to go about my own personal business. Let's see, what do I usually do? I know! I'll call Stacy and tell her how I'm busting Phineas and Ferb -- Oh yeah. Can't do that, 'cause they're not doing anything. Wait a minute! I know. (sets up the video camera) I'll put this camera in just the right spot so that when Phineas and Ferb-- ooh! (sets up a trap) And when Phineas and Ferb walk by, I'll -- ahh! (putting on lipstick) Well, if there's one thing I know, I'm gonna look so good when I bust them for-- (snapping her lipstick) Rrr! Face it! You can't do anything unless you're trying to bust them for doing something! And if they're doing nothing then... who-o-o i-i-is Ca-a-a-anda-a-ace?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh no! Now I'm ugly! I'm- (His face remains the same) Oh. I get it. Hardy har har.
Doofenshmirtz: No! You've perverted my ugly invention with something beautiful!
(Perry falls into his lair while MM and Carl are dancing with girls)
Major Monogram: Oh Agent P you're here. Carl get me a close up. So uhh, stop Doofenshmirtz, that's it.
Vance Ward: Thanks, whoever you are. Now, GET ME OUT OF HERE!
- First appearances: Coltrane and unnamed Jeremy and the Incidentals' drummer.
- In this episode, Candace does a nearly impossible plan, which is undoubtedly out of her real character. This makes the "driving our sister insane" a real part of this episode.
- When Candace shows the boys the time-traveling machine, it said 20,000 BC, 2008, and 98,000 AD. This most likely means it takes place in 2008.
- What would later become the music for The Platypus Walk is heard at a faster pace in this episode twice, later heard again in Season 2's She's the Mayor.
- It was originally believed that there were two different songs in this episode, one during the episode and one in the credits. However, it was later revealed upon release of the soundtrack that they were both part of the same song.
- When Phineas first wakes up, he has two pillows on his bed. When he and Ferb race out of their room, there is only one.
- When Jeremy's band is hit with the Uglyinator, Coltrane and the drummer switch places.
- When Candace is shown on top of the waterslide with the jackhammer (zoomed out), her hair is blowing. But when they zoom in, its shown at its normal style, and is not blowing. Later on, when Stacy comes to tell her that their going to be late for the concert, its shown blowing again.
- Stacy's apparent crush on Coltrane is revisited in "The Baljeatles".
- In the episode "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo", Candace's two children that she mentions, Xavier and Amanda appear, along with their brother, Fred.
- When Candace says "Who-o-o i-i-is Ca-a-a-anda-a-ace?", the musical "sting" from the movie Psycho is heard.
- Guitar Hero - When Jeremy and the Incidentals are hit by Doofenshmirtz's Ugly-inator, the bassist turns into a guy who looks like Johnny Napalm, a playable character throughout the Guitar Hero series.
- The silence of the Lambs the moment with Candace in the mirror is a parody of that movie.
- Vincent Martella as Phineas, Additional Voices
- Ashley Tisdale as Candace
- Thomas Sangster as Ferb
- Caroline Rhea as Mom and Grandma Betty Joe ♦
- Dan Povenmire as Dr. Doofenshmirtz
- Jeff "Swampy" Marsh as Major Monogram, Additional Voices
- Richard O'Brien as Dad ♦
- Dee Bradley Baker as Perry, Additional Voices
- Mitchel Musso as Jeremy
- Vicki Lawrence as Hildegard ♦
- Kelly Hu as Stacy
- Kari Wahlgren as Suzy ♦, Additional Voices
- Diedrich Bader as Vance Ward, Additional Voices
- Barry Bostwick as Grandpa Clyde ♦
- ♦ designates a character that did not appear in this episode
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