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The Ballad of Badbeard

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The Ballad of Badbeard is a season 1 Phineas and Ferb episode.

Phineas and Ferb with their friends search for the treasure of Badbeard. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz moves into his new lair in Spleen Island. Candace touches the orange moss and “hallucinates”, seeing Perry as a secret agent.

Synopsis

Grandpa Clyde bugling

Clyde playing the bugle badly.

Early morning at Camp Phineas and Ferb, Clyde Flynn is playing the trumpet loudly around the tents. Inside Phineas and Ferb’s tent, Phineas shoots upward, commenting that it “sounds like someone strangling a cat! It must be grandpa!” Him, Ferb, and Perry walk out of the tent, ready for the day. Exiting his and Buford’s tent, Baljeet is coughing, exclaiming that he can't believe they ate the same food, to which Buford responds with a burp and a solemn “Believe it!” Walking up to her grandmother, Candace asks where the shower is, but Betty Jo replies sarcastically, implying this is a spa. Candace says she could do without the sarcasm.

After a little bit, Grandpa tells the kids breakfast is over, and it’s time to go on their walk to Badbeard Lake. Phineas asks why the name is what it is, to which Grandpa responds by explaining the definition of a lake. Phineas states he means the “Badbeard” part, and so Grandpa explains it was named after Captain Badbeard, the most notorious freshwater pirate to ever plunder a lakeside community. The kids awe at this, and Grandpa goes on to explain Spleen Island, it's legendary curse, and Badbeard’s stash of booty. Phineas remarks “Booty?” and so Grandpa explains it means treasure. The kids marvel at this word, and Grandpa colors one of the lenses in his glasses black to look like a pirate. He then starts singing the ballad of Badbeard with Buford playing the concertina.

Touching the orange moss

Candace touching the orange moss.

After Phineas says that the song is very short, Grandpa remarks he didn’t say it was much of a song. He then tells them to meet them on the trail in 5 minutes, and they salute him. Stretching out his overalls, Baljeet remarks that he “seems to be missing his underwear,” to which Buford answers by laughing and pointing at the flagpole, with Baljeet’s boxers waving in place of a flag. In 5 minutes, the kids, Grandpa and Grandma, and Candace are hiking up a hill. Grandpa starts explaining how to be safe on the trail, and brings up the dangers of the Orange Moss. As he explains it’s properties, Candace begins getting bored and leans on an orange moss-filled tree, flipping open her cell phone. She complains about the lack of reception, as Grandpa ends his speech. Candace then realizes that she touched the moss, and then backs into the other tree, getting more moss on her skin. She then freaks out and runs off, screaming.

Grandpa then points his wooden walking stick at Badbeard’s Lake, and the kids are in awe. Grandpa then points at the center, where Spleen Island lies. He then states that the souls of the failed treasure hunters are lying in Davy Jone’s locker. Phineas says that’s cool. Grandpa then leads the kids down the dirt steps, singing the ballad as they go. Grandma stops and wonders where Candace is.

Perry is walking mindlessly through the forest, before hopping up and slapping on his fedora, picking up and pressing a button. When nothing happens, he looks around, and is surprised as Agent E swoops down and picks him up and into the sky. She lands in her bird's nest, laying Agent P down and placing on her fedora. A video communicator cracks out of an egg with Major Monogram on it. He greets Agent P, and thanks Agent E. Then he explains to Perry that they are undergoing remodeling, and that his wife is doing it in a Mexican-Country style. Agent E then tries to feed Major Monogram’s egg, and he tells her to back off. Once she does, he tells Perry that E spotted Doofenshmirtz on Spleen Island and is moving boxes into the “Cave of the Old Sea Hag.” They believe he is making a new hideout, and Perry needs to stop him.

Candace spies on Perry

Candace spies on Perry.

On the tree across from them, Candace has her fingers over her eyes binocular-style and sees Perry salute. Acting hallucinogenic, she comments on the “messed up” happenings in the across nest. She then passes it off that it is the cause of the moss and she is hallucinating. She then wonders how she got up on the tree, and violently falls down, crashing into branches and landing in a bush, coughing. She then sees Agent E fly by and drop off Perry at the docks. Candace then accidentally gets her ankle caught in a rope attached to the wet ski that Perry darts off in. Candace then sees a talking zebra rocking in a rocking chair, who calls her Kevin. She then flies off along with Perry.

At the lakeside beach, Baljeet and Buford are dueling with wooden swords like pirates, while Isabella, Phineas, and Ferb sit inside the boat. Grandpa jogs up, and Phineas decided that they should sail to Spleen Island and find Badbeard’s treasure. Grandpa encourages them, and tells him of his youth, when he, attracted by the excitement, searched for the treasure. But then, he “discovered girls and the rest is a blur.” Though he didn’t find the treasure, he did find the map, and so he pulls it out of his hat. Buford, still dueling with Baljeet, stops and remarks to the treasure. Baljeet hits him in the rear, and then scared runs away from the angry Buford. Grandpa explains then that the treasure comes with a curse, and whoever dares to open it will be cursed with bad beards forever! The kids like this, and Grandpa says he’s going to go look for Grandma.

Ship Plans

Ferb shows off the plans for the pirate ship.

Candace is imagining a psychedelic backdrop around her and multicolored oozing hair as she flaps behind Perry’s wet ski. But in reality, she is banging very violently on the water screaming, as Perry ventures inside the Cave of the Old Sea Hag. Ferb unrolls the map on a metal stand. Phineas moves his pointer along the map, commenting on the bad-sounding locations they need to dock through. He then turns and remarks that it sounds delightful. Commenting it’s should be “easy-peasy,” he says they have to remake Grandpa’s “old dinghy.” He ask Ferb if he has any ideas, and so he unveils a gigantic, large-shadow casting diagram of a first class pirate ship, and Phineas marks it as impressive.

Perry, meanwhile, zooms inside the cave, as Candace, covered in seaweed, crawls up laughing onto a boulder in the water. She sees Perry very slowly, and laughs insanely. Perry opens a purple door on the wall, and runs inside. Doofenshmirtz asks if it's the cable guy, picking and capturing Perry in a robotic arm. He walks up to him, looking at a piece of paper, complaining that they don’t carry the evil science channel, before realizing its Perry. He yells at him to cut him a break that he’s moving legally. He bought it cheap, and explains that it apparently is haunted by a “terrifying old sea-hag.” He says that just because he’s evil doesn’t mean everything he does is evil. Perry stares him down disbelievingly, and so Doofenshmirtz says he’ll show him evil if he wants to.

Pirates of Badbeard

The kids singing The Ballad of Badbeard.

On Badbeard Lake, the ship, now just like Ferb’s plans, is sailing down the blue. Phineas slams out of the captain's deck, and the group starts singing a longer version of the ballad. After that, the gang mounts onto the island from a small rowboat. They step up mountain side steps, and enter the Tunnel of Doom. Inside, water is leaking, and Ferb is holding up the map as he leads them. Isabella asks Phineas if they’re sure their going the right way, and Phineas assures her Ferb has the map and knows where they’re going. The Map then flutters off of the cliff side. Phineas tries to assure them, and they then stand across of a rickety bridge. Phineas tests it out, and says it’s fine. But when all of them go on the bridge at once, the bridge collapses and they fall through a tunnel onto a giant lizard.

The lizard extends itself and the kids jump off onto a cliff, and run as the beast chases them. They go through dangerous paths and at one point over a two-part cliff, where Isabella yells at Buford for playing around with “nifty hand puppets” They continue to run, and slow down, ending up in a cavern similar to the tunnel of doom. Isabella asks if they really are in the right place, and Buford asks the possibility of no treasure. Baljeet considers the real treasure to be that of friendship and adventure, but the others ignore him, Phineas pointing to a giant door with a red “X” on it to his left. Entering it they see the chest, and Phineas volunteers to open it. Isabella is scared, and Buford reminds him of the curse, followed by Baljeet saying “You don’t even have a chin!” Phineas opens the chest, and reveals that it is full of tacky (or "bad") fake beards, wearing one himself.

In Doofenshmirtz’s new lair, he has Perry hovered over a hatch, and opens the hatch to reveal two crocodiles named “Susan and Susan,” after each other. As they snap at Perry, Candace walks up, laughing crazily and covered in seaweed. Doofenshmirtz yells, scared, that it’s the sea hag, and backs off as Candace calls him “the pharmacist!” He trips and sends the button to the floor, Perry now free to escape. Candace tells him she's getting something from the vending machine, though actually pointing to the self-destruct button. Perry tries to stop her, but she clicks the button wanting beef jerky. The alarm rings, and Perry darts off with her to get off the island. Doofenshmirtz struggles to keep the Susans from eating him.

The kids marvel at the beards, all wearing them, as rumbles start to happen from the self-destruct. They grab as much beards as they can, running off with them to the exit of the cavern. The lizard is still clawing at the entrance to the cavern, and chases after them. But he gets stuck as they shoot through a tunnel hastily, seeing the ship through a hole. They slid out and onto the rowboat, sailing away to the ship. Perry keeps running down a tunnel with Candace, jumping off a cliff and into a water-rush, which leads to a waterfall. The two falls out, Agent E grabbing them and flying away, dropping them onto the boy’s ship. The island falls into the deep. The kids awe at the amazed of what just happened, as Candace asks Perry (now back to looking mindless) where his hat went. Phineas tells Ferb that it was a great trip, and Ferb remarks it as “perhaps the greatest pirate story ever told.”

Blue moss

Candace touches blue moss.

Grandpa, wearing a purple beard, agrees back at the campsite with this, and inside the tent, Grandma asks Candace (both now wearing beards) how’s she feeling. She says she feels better, and then says she needs to stay away from the orange moss. Grandma explains it’s actually the blue moss that makes you hallucinate. She says that everything must have been in her head – “the power of suggestion” - and walks off. Candace then accidentally puts her hand in blue moss, and hallucinates the zebra again, who tells her “I love the beard, ‘Kevin’.”

Songs

Video releases

DVD

  • Phineas and Ferb: The Daze of Summer

Background Information

  • The Zebra Candace sees later appears in "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!" and "Nerds of a Feather".
  • This episode marks the first time Candace sees Perry wearing his hat.
  • This episode shows that Buford can play concertina very well.
  • This marks the second appearance of the boys' maternal grandparents, Betty Jo Flynn and Clyde Flynn.
  • This is the first time Ferb uses his regular voice to sing and not a different one, while all of the other songs he sang (such as Backyard Beach, Big Ginormous Airplane, Spa Day) used a different voice. (Note that Ferb singing in The Ballad of Badbeard is not so much singing as rhythmic talking.)
  • This is the second episode that Linda Flynn does not appear in. ("Are You My Mummy?")

Production Information

  • This episode appears to take place the day after "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!", because all of the kids and Candace are still at the Grandparents' "camp" and it is said that they only go there once a summer. Phineas' reaction to the bugled wake-up call and Candace's search for a shower appear to support this. (Dan Povenmire notes over in the Dan Povenmire Correspondence area on the Phineas and Ferb wiki that episodes are not being told in a straight chronological order.)
  • On May 20 2013, ITunes released a special version of this episode featuring character commentary from Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Candace Flynn, Stacy Hirano, Norm, Major Monogram, Carl Karl, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and Perry the Platypus. It was paired with "Perry Lays an Egg".

Errors

  • In "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!", Phineas says that their "camp" doesn't have a flagpole, but Buford raises Baljeet's underpants on a flagpole. This may not be an error because Phineas said he doesn't THINK there is a flagpole.
  • As Clyde sings the song, Buford plays the concertina. Towards the end of the song, the kids gather around Clyde but Buford doesn't hold a concertina (although the music is still playing).
  • When you see the Fireside Girls on the ship, they were never with Phineas, Ferb, and the others, so they shouldn't be on the ship.
  • When the gang enters the cave, as Baljeet comes onscreen his shirt stripes are blue for a split second, instead of white.
  • Grandma was part of the hiking party when Grandpa warned about the orange moss, but corrected him later in Candace's tent.
  • When she is getting dragged by Perry's speedboat, Candace's socks and shoes disappear. However, when she is flown to the boat by Agent E, her socks appear. In the next scene, her socks and shoes appear again. They are later seen by Candace's sleeping bag..
  • The first time the group sees the giant iguana, it is partially underwater, but the second time, when they are running to get off the island, there is no water.
  • When Agent E flies Perry to her nest, her hat is brown with a black stripe. While Major Monogram speaks, her hat is black with a brown stripe. In the next scene, her hat is brown again.
  • When Phineas says "Booty?" the plate he was holding disappears along with everyone else's.
  • Gretchen and Holly get seasick when they enter in a ship in this episode, but in "That Sinking Feeling", they don't get seasick at all. This may be explained by them being more used to a ship or the boat used here is more wobbly.
  • Near the beginning, when Clyde shows them the lake, Candace has her hand on her hip, her phone in that hand, and her other hand against the moss. When she realizes this, her phone disappears from her hand. Of course, she could have dropped it behind her so we didn't see.

Continuity

Allusions

  • Phineas's map has many landmarks which are gags: Point Plots (plot point), Sea of Bile, Stones of Gall (Gall stones), Spleen Island and the Cove of Incontinence.
  • The Simpsons Movie - the way the pirate ship blueprint is folded may have been copied from the scene from The Simpsons Movie where Homer unfolded his Alaska poster.
  • Baljeet's boxer shorts flying on the flagpole may be a nod the '90s Nickelodeon series Salute Your Shorts.

Allusions to Disney Media

  • Pirates of the Caribbean - Phineas and Ferb's ship has a small resemblance to the Black Pearl in Pirates of the Caribbean.
  • Alice in Wonderland - The Talking Zebra may refer to the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.
  • Captain Blackbeard - "Badbeard" is an obvious parody of Captain Blackbeard.

Cast

designates a character that did not appear in this episode
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Media

Animated Productions: Phineas and Ferb | Videography | Take Two with Phineas and Ferb (Episode list) | Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension | Feature film
Video Games: Phineas and Ferb | Phineas and Ferb Ride Again | Disney Channel All Star Party | Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension | Agent P Strikes Back | Phineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool Stuff | Where's My Perry? | Disney INFINITY (2.0) (3.0) | Phineas and Ferb: Day of Doofenshmirtz
Albums: Phineas and Ferb | Phineas and Ferb Holiday Favorites | Phineas and Ferb: Across the 1st and 2nd Dimensions | Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars soundtrack

Disney Parks

Agent P's World Showcase Adventure | Celebrate the Magic | Phineas and Ferb's Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party

Characters

Major Characters: Phineas Flynn | Ferb Fletcher | Candace Flynn | Perry | Major Francis Monogram | Heinz Doofenshmirtz | Linda Flynn | Lawrence Fletcher
Secondary Characters: Isabella Garcia-Shapiro | Baljeet Tjinder | Buford Van Stomm | Jeremy Johnson | Carl Karl | Stacy Hirano | Ginger Hirano | Milly | Katie | Holly | Adyson Sweetwater | Gretchen
Recurring characters: Giant Floating Baby Head | Django Brown | Coltrane | Charlene Doofenshmirtz | Vanessa Doofenshmirtz | Roger Doofenshmirtz | Vivian Garcia-Shapiro | Irving | Jenny Brown | Suzy Johnson | Danny | Bobbi Fabulous | Sherman | Meap | Mitch | Norm | Clyde Flynn | Betty Jo Flynn | Pinky | Albert | Peter | Klimpaloon | Talking Zebra | Monty Monogram | Hildegard Johnson | Reginald Fletcher | Winifred Fletcher | Aloyse von Roddenstein
Minor Characters: Jerry | Khaka Peu Peu | The Regurgitator | Bob Webber | Princess Baldegunde | Melissa | Unnamed Fireside Girls | Agent E | Brobots | Drill Sergeant | Buck Buckerson | Tiana Webber | Jack Johnson | Mrs. Johnson | Wendy | Eliza Fletcher | Nicolette | Mandy | Thaddeus and Thor | Mindy | Amanda | Lucy Fletcher | Adrian Fletcher | Beppo Brown | Dr. Hirano | Annabelle Johnson | Sara | Brigitte, Josette, and Collette | Mishti Patel | Liam McCracken | Rodrigo | Morg | Glenda Wilkins | Dr. Gevaarlijk | Heinz Doofenshmirtz's mother | Blanca Dishon | Professor Poofenplotz | Lyla Lolliberry | Balloony
Guest Characters: Santa Claus | Kim Possible | Pinocchio | Baby Baboon | Thor Odinson | Spider-Man | Hulk | Iron Man | Red Skull | Nick Fury | Venom | Whiplash | MODOK

Organizations/Groups

Organization Without a Cool Acronym | Fireside Girls | League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness | Love Handel | Canadian Organization Without a Cool Acronym

Episodes

Season One: "Rollercoaster" | "Candace Loses Her Head" | "The Fast and the Phineas" | "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror" | "The Magnificent Few" | "S'Winter" | "Are You My Mummy?" | "Flop Starz" | "Raging Bully" | "Lights, Candace, Action!" | "Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face!" | "Tree to Get Ready" | "It's About Time!" | "Jerk De Soleil" | "Toy to the World" | "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" | "A Hard Day's Knight" | "I, Brobot" | "Mom's Birthday" | "Journey to the Center of Candace" | "Run Away Runway" | "I Scream, You Scream" | "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World" | "The Ballad of Badbeard" | "Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together" | "Ready for the Bettys" | "The Flying Fishmonger" | "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!" | "Greece Lightning" | "Leave the Busting to Us!" | "Crack That Whip" | "The Best Lazy Day Ever" | "Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C." | "Voyage to the Bottom of Buford" | "Put That Putter Away" | "Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?" | "Traffic Cam Caper" | "Bowl-R-Ama Drama" | "The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein" | "Oil on Candace" | "Unfair Science Fair" | "Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)" | "Out to Launch" | "Got Game?" | "Comet Kermillian" | "Out of Toon" | "Hail Doofania!"
Season Two: "The Lake Nose Monster" | "Interview With a Platypus" | "Tip of the Day" | "Attack of the 50 Foot Sister" | "Backyard Aquarium" | "Day of the Living Gelatin" | "Elementary My Dear Stacy" | "Don't Even Blink" | "Chez Platypus" | "Perry Lays an Egg" | "Gaming the System" | "The Chronicles of Meap" | "Thaddeus and Thor" | "De Plane! De Plane!" | "Let's Take a Quiz" | "At the Car Wash" | "Oh, There You Are, Perry" | "Swiss Family Phineas" | "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown" | "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" | "Hide and Seek" | "That Sinking Feeling" | "The Baljeatles" | "Vanessassary Roughness" | "No More Bunny Business" | "Spa Day" | "Bubble Boys" | "Isabella and the Temple of Sap" | "Cheer Up Candace" | "Fireside Girl Jamboree" | "The Bully Code" | "Finding Mary McGuffin" | "What Do It Do?" | "Atlantis" | "Picture This" | "Nerdy Dancin'" | "I Was a Middle Aged Robot" | "Suddenly Suzy" | "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!" | "Undercover Carl" | "Hip Hip Parade" | "Just Passing Through" | "Candace's Big Day" | "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers" | "Ain't No Kiddie Ride" | "Wizard of Odd" | "The Beak" | "Not Phineas and Ferb" | "Phineas and Ferb-Busters!" | "The Lizard Whisperer" | "Robot Rodeo" | "The Secret of Success" | "The Doof Side of the Moon" | "She's the Mayor" | "The Lemonade Stand" | "We Call it Maze" | "Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!" | "Nerds of a Feather" | "Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation" | "Split Personality" | "Brain Drain" | "Make Play" | "Candace Gets Busted" | "Summer Belongs to You!" | "Rollercoaster: The Musical!"
Season Three: "Run, Candace, Run" | "Last Train to Bustville" | "The Great Indoors" | "Canderemy" | "The Belly of the Beast" | "Moon Farm" | "Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" | "Ask a Foolish Question" | "Misperceived Monotreme" | "Candace Disconnected" | "Magic Carpet Ride" | "Bad Hair Day" | "Meatloaf Surprise" | "Tri-Stone Area" | "Doof Dynasty" | "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted" | "A Real Boy" | "Mommy Can You Hear Me?" | "Road Trip" | "Skiddley Whiffers" | "Tour de Ferb" | "My Fair Goalie" | "Perry the Actorpus" | "Bullseye!" | "That's the Spirit" | "The Curse of Candace" | "Escape from Phineas Tower" | "The Remains of the Platypus" | "Ferb Latin" | "Lotsa Latkes" | "A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas" | "What a Croc!" | "Ferb TV" | "Mom's in the House" | "Minor Monogram" | "Excaliferb" | "Monster from the Id" | "Gi-Ants" | "Agent Doof" | "Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" | "Delivery of Destiny" | "Let's Bounce" | "Quietest Day Ever" | "Bully Bromance Break Up" | "Doonkleberry Imperative" | "Buford Confidential" | "Sleepwalk Surprise" | "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" | "Meapless in Seattle" | "The Mom Attractor" | "Cranius Maximus" | "Sipping with the Enemy" | "Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets" | "Doofapus" | "Norm Unleashed" | "When Worlds Collide" | "Road to Danville" | "Where's Perry?" | "Blackout!" | "What'd I Miss?" | "This Is Your Backstory"
Season Four: "Fly On the Wall" | "My Sweet Ride" | "For Your Ice Only " | "Happy New Year!" | "Bully Bust" | "Backyard Hodge Podge" | "Der Kinderlumper" | "Just Desserts" | "Bee Day" | "Bee Story" | "Sidetracked" | "Knot My Problem" | "Mind Share" | "Primal Perry" | "La Candace-Cabra" | "Happy Birthday, Isabella" | "Great Balls of Water" | "Where's Pinky?" | "Mission Marvel" | "Thanks But No Thanks" | "Troy Story" | "Love at First Byte" | "One Good Turn" | "Cheers for Fears" | "Just Our Luck" | "Return Policy" | "Imperfect Storm" | "Steampunx" | "It's No Picnic" | "Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror" | "Druselsteinoween" | "Face Your Fear" | "The Klimpaloon Ultimatum" | "Doof 101" | "Father's Day" | "Operation Crumb Cake" | "Mandace" | "Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension" | "The Return of the Rogue Rabbit" | "Live and Let Drive" | "Lost in Danville" | "The Inator Method" | "Act Your Age" | "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer" | "Night of the Living Pharmacists" | "Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars" | "Last Day of Summer" | "O.W.C.A. Files"

Locations

Locations at or near Danville: Danville | Mr. Slushy Franchise | Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated | Flynn-Fletcher House | Atlantis | Googolplex Mall | Old Abandoned Amusement Park
Other Locations: Africa | England | New York | Big Ben | Mars | Tokyo | London | China | India | Canada | Chile

Selected songs

Today is Gonna Be a Great Day | Summer Belongs to You | City of Love | Jump Right In | Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow | Perry the Platypus Theme | Gitchee Gitchee Goo| | Where Did We Go Wrong? | Busted | Little Brothers | What'cha Doin? | Carpe Diem | S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants) | I'm Me | Rollercoaster | The Ballad of Klimpaloon | Evil for Extra Credit | Backyard Beach | Happy New Year | Great to Be a Baby | Serious Fun

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