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Now instead of waiting in those ridiculously long lines at the return counter, I scan each item and presto! It's transported back to the store where I bought it!

Heinz Doofenshmirtz

"Return Policy" is an episode of Phineas and Ferb that premiered January 10, 2014.

Plot

Annoyed at waiting in really long lines at the return counter, Doofenshmirtz invents a "Back-to-the-Store-inator" to send things back to the store where they came. Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb stage an extreme batting challenge their friends take place in, and Candace's obsession to bust coincides with her and Jeremy's visit to the Extreme Water Park.

Episode Summary

Candace is on the phone with Stacy talking about her relationship with Jeremy. In the backyard, Phineas, Ferb and Isabella play baseball. Linda enters the room to tell her she is going to the store and asks Candace if she needs anything. Candace at first says she does not need anything, but then gives a long list of personal hygiene products. Linda offers Candace to come with her and get her own stuff, but Candace worries that no one will be around to bust her brothers. Linda tells her the faster they are done shopping, the faster they will get home to bust the boys.

In the backyard, Baljeet arrives to mathematically observe Isabella's grand slam, much to Buford's chagrin. Phineas gets an idea to do an extreme batting challenge. Baljeet then asks where Perry is, and Phineas replies that he is "at home", indicating he is standing on home plate. As soon as the gang walks away, Perry walks into an elevator under home plate.

In Agent P's lair, Major Monogram is onscreen with a reverse mohawk (or is it a "hawkmo"?), two individual eyebrows, and a split in his mustache. He explains that the electric razor he recently bought was defective. He tells Agent P that Doofenshmirtz has been waiting on line in return counters and several items have been appearing at return counters. Agent P gets to work.

At the Super Duper Mega Superstore, Linda suggests to Candace to do her own shopping trip while she waits for her at the register. Candace collects all the personal hygiene products she needs in her basket. Just as she is about to get deodorant, Jeremy approaches her, noticing her sniffing her armpit. Candace nervously covers this up by claiming to be shopping for her mom, and that she was actually heading to the water sports aisle. Jeremy invites Candace to the extreme water park, and Candace accepts the invitation.

At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Perry is trapped by a clearance sale sticker. Doofenshmirtz explains to Perry that his broken inator parts were messing up the feng shui of his home, so he built the Back-to-the-Store-Inator, so that he wouldn't have to make that long trip to the store to return his items. As a bonus, when his items get returned, he automatically gets his money back, although he gets it in the form of pennies.

Are you ready Candace

At the top of the extreme water ride

At the Aqua Maximus, Jeremy and Candace are about to go down a water slide on surfboards, which Candace is scared of. Before she goes down, the ride operator mentions in passing that Phineas and Ferb built the ride.

Back in the backyard, which is now a very complex batting cage, Ginger and Gretchen have joined Buford and Baljeet in batting. Phineas and a rather overexcited Isabella are in an announcer's booth, while Ferb is the pitcher. The object of the game is to hit each item for ten points and hit the target to win the game. Buford bats first, and while he hits several items, he does not reach the target. Baljeet calculates his batting angle, yet he does not reach the target either. Gretchen and Ginger do not do any better, and Buford even breaks the ball apart, literally.

I am at the extreme water park with Jeremy

Candace talking to her mom after finishing the ride

Meanwhile, back at the water park, Jeremy is having the time of his life, while Candace is screaming her lungs out. When Candace washes up on shore, her cell phone rings. Linda is angry at her for not telling her that she would be with Jeremy at the water park and for waiting in line for almost half an hour. Linda tells her daughter to come home as soon as possible. Jeremy washes up on shore and asks Candace if she wants to go again, but Candace says she has to go home.

Back at D.E.I., Perry frees himself by literally slashing his price with a coupon. He fights Doofenshmirtz and jumps on the inator, causing many items such as his collection of baseball cards, to go back to where he got them.

Meanwhile, Buford and Baljeet are tied at 90 points. Buford goes up to bat. At first it seems like the ball will hit the target, but instead, it gets caught in the net at the top. Baljeet still does not do any better.

After zapping Doofenshmirtz's flat-screen TV, Perry punches him in the back and ends up breaking the inator, which fires off randomly. At the superstore, Monogram and Carl are at the return counter returning the defective razor, oblivious to a kitchen sink appearing there.

In the backyard, Baljeet shows Buford a rather complex mathematically diagram on a chalkboard showing that they might be able to work together to finally hit the target. Jeremy drops Candace off at her house, and she sees the batting cage. She tries to get her mom to bust her brothers, but she is still angry at her for earlier. Both of them fail to notice an inator ray making Linda's bags in the trunk disappear. Linda drives back to the store and Candace but-but-buts yet again. So she drags Jeremy to the backyard.

Baljeet is measuring Buford's batting angle assuring Buford that it will work. Ferb lobs a ball at Buford, and Buford hits a grand slam, hitting every item and finally the target. The gang, with Candace and Jeremy, all look in amazement as the batting cage launches into the air and bursts into fireworks. Candace is once again discouraged about another failed bust attempt.

Back at D.E.I., Doofenshmirtz's pockets are enormously deep with pennies. Perry deflects an inator ray onto Doof's clothes leaving him in nothing but his underpants. Doofenshmirtz then wonders what would happen if a person was zapped by the ray. Just as he is about to finish his sentence, he gets zapped right back to the hospital where he was born in Drusselstein in the arms of a male nurse.

Candace and Jeremy hugging return policy 2

Candace and Jeremy share a hug.

Candace confesses to Jeremy that she was embarrassed by the fact that she was shopping for teen hygiene products at the store, explaining why she lied about being at the extreme water sports aisle. Jeremy assures her that he isn't embarrassed. Just as they hug, Candace farts. She states it is just a natural humanly body function, but Jeremy insists that he thinks it is cute.

Songs

End Credits

Second verse of Extremely Extreme (standalone broadcast)

Running Gags

I know what we're gonna do today

Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We can use geometric algorithms to build the ultimate batting challenge.


The "Too Young" Line

None.

Ferb's Line/Oh, There You Are Perry

Ferb: (Looking up at fireworks from batting challenge) Oooooh.


(Perry chatters)

Phineas: Oh, there you are Perry.
Ferb: Safe at home.

(Perry chatters again)


What'cha doin'?

Jeremy: Hey, Candace! Whatcha doin'?

Candace: Uh, heh, hey, Jeremy, um...yeah...I'm just trying to reach the top shelf.

Jeremy: Allow me.


Hey, where's Perry?

Baljeet: So where is Perry?
Phineas: He's at home.


Perry's entrance to his lair

Perry steps off home plate, an elevator appears and goes down to his lair.

Evil Jingle

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Memorable Quotes

Candace: (to Stacy, referring to Jeremy) Remember those days when I was always panicking about what he thought or what he wouldn't like? Ancient history.
Stacy: That was yesterday.


Linda: Candace, I'm going to the store, do you need anything?

Candace: Nah, I'm good.
Linda: Okay.
Candace: Oh, wait, I am out of toothpaste.
Linda: All right.
Candace: And deodorant.
Linda: Got it.
Candace: Oh, and pimple cream, loofa pads, body tape, hair dye, cucumber slices, fungal cream...
Linda: You know what, why don't you just come along so I don't spend the whole day in the teen hygiene aisle?
Candace: Someone has to be around to bust Phineas and Ferb!
Linda: Candace, they're playing baseball. It's not exactly a punishable offense.

Candace: Oh, but it will be! (shakes fist) It will be!


Major Monogram: Morning, Agent P. As you can see, I, uh, I've had a little shaving mishap with this defective electric razor. Just not comfortable with my eyebrows moving independently of each other.

Carl: (offscreen) But you are rockin' the reverse mohawk, sir!

Major Monogram: Get with it, Carl! The hip kids call it a "hawkmo".


Isabella: Only one contestant will survive!
Phineas: No, no, no, (chuckles) everyone will survive.


Buford: Do my ears deceive me? Are you sayin' we should work together?!
Baljeet: I know! My ears cannot believe it either!


Background information

  • Candace has no interaction with her brothers once again in this episode.
  • Jeremy says "What'cha doin'?" instead of Isabella in this episode, although he does not say it in the same intonation as Isabella.
  • When Doofenshmirtz gets zapped by his Back-to-the-Store-inator for the second time, he is sent into the hands of his doctor who worked at the hospital he was born in. This is the same doctor who has been seen holding just-born Doof in "Raging Bully" and "This is Your Backstory".
  • The Superduper Megastore reappears ("Vanessassary Roughness", "Ain't No Kiddie Ride").
  • "Don't poke the bear" means to prevent someone from doing/saying something that might cause a negative response from someone/something else.
  • Second time Phineas says something cultural and sounds better than Baljeet. ("Bully Bust")

Production Information

  • This episode was supposed to air on October 24, 2013 on Disney XD Germany but it was replaced with an episode rerun.
  • On Disney Channel, this is the last episode to air before Disney Channel's May 2014 logo change.

International Premieres

  • February 15, 2014 (Disney XD Poland)
  • March 1, 2014 (Disney XD Canada)
  • March 25, 2014 (Disney Channel Australia & New Zealand)
  • May 12, 2014 (PlusPlus, Ukraine)
  • August 4, 2014 (Disney Channel Brazil & Latin America)
  • September 5, 2014 (Disney XD Latin America)
  • September 28, 2014 (Disney Channel Czech/Hungary)
  • October 10, 2014 (Disney Channel Asia)
  • November 4, 2014 (Disney XD UK & Ireland)
  • November 11, 2014 (Disney Channel Spain)
  • November 16, 2014 (Disney XD Spain)
  • November 30, 2014 (RCTI Indonesia)
  • April 5, 2015 (Family Channel, Canada)
  • April 15, 2016 (Disney Channel Poland)

Continuity

  • Jeremy drives Candace home in his car, which was first seen in "At the Car Wash".
  • While Candace and Linda are shopping, I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun! can be heard as background music.

Errors

  • After Isabella hits the baseball, Phineas' glove switches from his right hand to his left hand. When Buford and Baljeet arrive, the glove is back on his right hand.
  • When Buford says "You're goin' down, dweeb", the inside area of Gretchen's glasses are darkened instead of clear.
  • When Candace turns around to realize Linda's driving away, she smiles very quickly.
  • Gretchen and Ginger were the only Fireside Girls participating in the game but when the jetpacks carry the batting cages away, all of the Fireside Girls are there.
  • Everyone is standing next to each other when the Big Idea explodes into fireworks, but when in close up of everyone astounded, no one is surrounding them.
  • When Candace runs to Linda's car, it appears she's heading for the car's right side, but in the next shot, she runs to the left side. Also at the same time, the car is instantly in its parking space and the trunk is instantly open even though the car was still parking in the previous shot.
  • When the gang rejoins after Buford scores, Isabella, Phineas, Baljeet and Ferb are in the front, Buford is behind Baljeet and Gretchen and Ginger are behind Isabella and Phineas. When the batting cages take off however, everyone is in a line, and the order is Ferb, Phineas, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, and the other Fireside Girls even though they did not take part in the game.
  • When the batting cages took off the wagon with baseballs is still there, but somehow neither Candace nor Linda saw it.
  • When Candace and Linda are first seen shopping, Linda does not have a cart. When she calls Candace, she suddenly gets a cart full of groceries.
  • When Isabella announces Buford and Baljeet are tied, Gretchen is shown to have 50 strikes but when Isabella announces it will go into sudden death, Gretchen's strike counter is changed to 60.
  • Buford, Baljeet and Ginger's strike counters stay the same instead of changing.
  • The jet that pulls Candace hovering. V.T.O.L (vertical take off and landing) jets do not have a fixed rear jet engine in that position.
  • Linda drives back to the store without even closing the trunk first.

Allusions

  • The Natural - The scene where Buford hits his ball is a parody of the climax of this movie, complete with a parody of the Randy Newman score.
  • Overtime in Sports - Isabella refers the extra time as "sudden death", which in sports, overtime is referred to "sudden death" when both teams or players are tied and the player or the team that scores win the game.
  • The Hunger Games - Isabella states that "only one contestant will survive." Later on, both Buford and Baljeet win, similar to how both Katniss and Peeta come out of the Games when only one was supposed to survive.

Trivia

Cast

designates a character that did not appear in this episode
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Media
Animated Productions: Phineas and FerbVideographyTake Two with Phineas and FerbPhineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd DimensionFeature film

Video Games: Phineas and FerbPhineas and Ferb Ride AgainDisney Channel All Star PartyPhineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd DimensionAgent P Strikes BackPhineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool StuffWhere's My Perry?Disney INFINITY (2.0) (3.0) • Phineas and Ferb: Day of Doofenshmirtz
Albums: Phineas and FerbPhineas and Ferb Holiday FavoritesPhineas and Ferb: Across the 1st and 2nd DimensionsPhineas and Ferb: Star Wars soundtrack

Disney Parks
Agent P's World Showcase Adventure

Entertainment: Phineas and Ferb's Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party
Firework: Celebrate the Magic

Characters
Major Characters: Phineas FlynnFerb FletcherCandace FlynnPerryMajor Francis MonogramHeinz DoofenshmirtzLinda FlynnLawrence Fletcher

Secondary Characters: Isabella Garcia-ShapiroBaljeet TjinderBuford Van StommJeremy JohnsonCarl KarlStacy HiranoGinger HiranoMillyKatieHollyAdyson SweetwaterGretchen
Recurring characters: Giant Floating Baby HeadDjango BrownColtraneCharlene DoofenshmirtzVanessa DoofenshmirtzRoger DoofenshmirtzVivian Garcia-ShapiroIrvingJenny BrownSuzy JohnsonDannyBobbi FabulousShermanMeapMitchNormClyde FlynnBetty Jo FlynnPinkyAlbertPeterKlimpaloonTalking ZebraMonty MonogramHildegard JohnsonReginald FletcherWinifred FletcherAloyse von Roddenstein
Minor Characters: JerryKhaka Peu PeuThe RegurgitatorBob WebberPrincess BaldegundeMelissaUnnamed Fireside GirlsAgent EBrobotsDrill SergeantBuck BuckersonTiana WebberJack JohnsonMrs. JohnsonWendyEliza FletcherNicoletteMandyThaddeus and ThorMindyAmandaLucy FletcherAdrian FletcherBeppo BrownDr. HiranoAnnabelle JohnsonSaraBrigitte, Josette, and ColletteMishti PatelLiam McCrackenRodrigoMorgGlenda WilkinsDr. GevaarlijkHeinz Doofenshmirtz's motherBlanca DishonProfessor PoofenplotzLyla LolliberryBalloony • Corn Colossus
Guest Characters: Santa ClausKim Possible PinocchioBaby BaboonThor OdinsonSpider-ManHulkIron ManRed SkullNick FuryVenomWhiplashMODOK

Episodes
Season One: "Rollercoaster" • "Candace Loses Her Head" • "The Fast and the Phineas" • "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror" • "The Magnificent Few" • "S'Winter" • "Are You My Mummy?" • "Flop Starz" • "Raging Bully" • "Lights, Candace, Action!" • "Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face!" • "Tree to Get Ready" • "It's About Time!" • "Jerk De Soleil" • "Toy to the World" • "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" • "A Hard Day's Knight" • "I, Brobot" • "Mom's Birthday" • "Journey to the Center of Candace" • "Run Away Runway" • "I Scream, You Scream" • "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World" • "The Ballad of Badbeard" • "Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together" • "Ready for the Bettys" • "The Flying Fishmonger" • "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!" • "Greece Lightning" • "Leave the Busting to Us!" • "Crack That Whip" • "The Best Lazy Day Ever" • "Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C." • "Voyage to the Bottom of Buford" • "Put That Putter Away" • "Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?" • "Traffic Cam Caper" • "Bowl-R-Ama Drama" • "The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein" • "Oil on Candace" • "Unfair Science Fair" • "Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)" • "Out to Launch" • "Got Game?" • "Comet Kermillian" • "Out of Toon" • "Hail Doofania!"

Season Two: "The Lake Nose Monster" • "Interview With a Platypus" • "Tip of the Day" • "Attack of the 50 Foot Sister" • "Backyard Aquarium" • "Day of the Living Gelatin" • "Elementary My Dear Stacy" • "Don't Even Blink" • "Chez Platypus" • "Perry Lays an Egg" • "Gaming the System" • "The Chronicles of Meap" • "Thaddeus and Thor" • "De Plane! De Plane!" • "Let's Take a Quiz" • "At the Car Wash" • "Oh, There You Are, Perry" • "Swiss Family Phineas" • "Hide and Seek" • "That Sinking Feeling" • "The Baljeatles" • "Vanessassary Roughness" • "No More Bunny Business" • "Spa Day" • "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" • "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown" • "Bubble Boys" • "Isabella and the Temple of Sap" • "Cheer Up Candace" • "Fireside Girl Jamboree" • "The Bully Code" • "Finding Mary McGuffin" • "Picture This" • "Nerdy Dancin'" • "What Do It Do?" • "Atlantis" • "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!" • "Just Passing Through" • "Candace's Big Day" • "I Was a Middle Aged Robot" • "Suddenly Suzy" • "Undercover Carl" • "Hip Hip Parade" • "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers" • "Ain't No Kiddie Ride" • "Not Phineas and Ferb" • "Phineas and Ferb-Busters!" • "The Lizard Whisperer" • "Robot Rodeo" • "The Beak" • "She's the Mayor" • "The Lemonade Stand" • "Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation" • "Summer Belongs to You!" • "Nerds of a Feather" • "Wizard of Odd" • "We Call it Maze" • "Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!" • "The Secret of Success" • "The Doof Side of the Moon" • "Split Personality" • "Brain Drain" • "Rollercoaster: The Musical!" • "Make Play" • "Candace Gets Busted"
Season Three: "The Great Indoors" • "Canderemy" • "Run, Candace, Run" • "Last Train to Bustville" • "Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" • "The Belly of the Beast" • "Moon Farm" • "Ask a Foolish Question" • "Misperceived Monotreme" • "Candace Disconnected" • "Magic Carpet Ride" • "Bad Hair Day" • "Meatloaf Surprise" • "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted" • "A Real Boy" • "Mommy Can You Hear Me?" • "Road Trip" • "Tour de Ferb" • "Skiddley Whiffers" • "My Fair Goalie" • "Bullseye!" • "That's the Spirit" • "The Curse of Candace" • "Escape from Phineas Tower" • "Lotsa Latkes" • "Ferb Latin" • "A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas" • "Tri-Stone Area" • "Doof Dynasty" • "Excaliferb" • "Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" • "Monster from the Id" • "Gi-Ants" • "The Remains of the Platypus" • "Mom's in the House" • "Perry the Actorpus" • "Let's Bounce" • "Bully Bromance Break Up" • "Quietest Day Ever" • "Doonkleberry Imperative" • "Meapless in Seattle" • "Delivery of Destiny" • "Buford Confidential" • "The Mom Attractor" • "Cranius Maximus" • "Agent Doof" • "Minor Monogram" • "What a Croc!" • "Sleepwalk Surprise" • "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" • "Sipping with the Enemy" • "Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets" • "Doofapus" • "Norm Unleashed" • "Where's Perry?" • "Ferb TV" • "When Worlds Collide" • "What'd I Miss?" • "Road to Danville" • "This is Your Backstory" • "Blackout!"
Season Four: "For Your Ice Only " • "Happy New Year!" • "Fly On the Wall" • "Bully Bust" • "My Sweet Ride" • "Der Kinderlumper" • "Sidetracked" • "Primal Perry" • "Mind Share" • "Backyard Hodge Podge" • "Bee Day" • "Bee Story" • "Great Balls of Water" • "Where's Pinky?" • "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne" • "Knot My Problem" • "Just Desserts" • "La Candace-Cabra" • "Happy Birthday, Isabella" • "Love at First Byte" • "One Good Turn" • "Mission Marvel" • "Thanks But No Thanks" • "Troy Story" • "Druselsteinoween" • "Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror" • "Face Your Fear" • "Cheers for Fears" • "Steampunx" • "Just Our Luck" • "Return Policy" • "Live and Let Drive" • "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer" • "Father's Day" • "Imperfect Storm" • "The Return of the Rogue Rabbit" • "It's No Picnic" • "The Klimpaloon Ultimatum" • "Operation Crumb Cake" • "Mandace" • "Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars" • "Lost in Danville" • "The Inator Method" • "Night of the Living Pharmacists" • "Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension" • "Doof 101" • "Act Your Age" • "Last Day of Summer" • "O.W.C.A. Files"

Locations
Locations at or near Danville: DanvilleMr. Slushy FranchiseDoofenshmirtz Evil IncorporatedFlynn-Fletcher HouseAtlantisGoogolplex MallOld Abandoned Amusement Park

Other Locations: AfricaEnglandNew YorkBig BenMarsTokyoLondonChinaIndiaCanadaChileHawaii

Selected Songs
Today is Gonna Be a Great DaySummer Belongs to YouCity of LoveJump Right InLet it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it SnowPerry the Platypus ThemeGitchee Gitchee GooWhere Did We Go Wrong?BustedLittle BrothersWhat'cha Doin?Carpe DiemS.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants)I'm MeRollercoasterThe Ballad of KlimpaloonEvil for Extra CreditBackyard BeachHappy New YearGreat to Be a BabySerious FunCurtain Call/Time Spent Together