No Deposit, No Return is a 1976 comedy film directed by Norman Tokar. It was written by Arthur Alsberg and Don Nelson. It is the story of two children (Tracy and Jay) who hold themselves for ransom, reluctantly aided by an expert safecracker and his sidekick (Duke and Bert).
During Easter break from their boarding school in England, brother and sister Tracy and Jay are to go visit their grandfather in Los Angeles, but they don't want to spend time with the stuffy old man. Instead, Tracy and Jay decide to stage their own kidnapping and use the ransom money for plane tickets so that they can visit their mother in Hong Kong. Two crooks who need money to pay off gambling debts agree to help them carry out their plan.
- David Niven - J.W. Osborne
- Darren McGavin - Duke
- Don Knotts - Bert Delaney
- Herschel Bernardi - Sgt. Max Turner
- Charles Martin Smith - Longnecker
- Barbara Feldon - Carolyn Osborne
- Kim Richards - Tracy Osborne
- Brad Savage - Jay Osborne
- Hank Jones - Banana Cop