"Mortimer Mouse" is a song from the animated series Disney's House of Mouse. In the episode "Ladies' Night", Mortimer Mouse was going to perform this song, but Minnie (with the help of Hyacinth Hippo) kicked him out for flirting with Clarabelle. When Minnie realized he was performing, she, Clarabelle, and Daisy sang the song instead. However, the audiences didn't like it at first due to the song praising Mortimer, but the girls fixed that by adjusting the lyrics so they insulted him.
Lines 1-10 of the song is praising Mortimer, while lines 14 onwards has the song insulting Mortimer. Lines 11-13 is the intermission, filled with normal speech by Minnie and Daisy, and the audiences booing the song's lyrics that are praising Mortimer.
Lyrics
Mike: And now put your hands together for Minnie Daisy and Clarabelle.
Minnie: Who's the guy that you and I just love to adore?
Daisy: Who's got looks and brains and brawn and talent galore?
Clarabelle: And every time he takes a bow, they're screaming for more?
All: Mortimer, Mortimer, Mortimer Mouse! [4]
Daisy: (Oh, brother, who wrote these lyrics?)
Clarabelle: (I'll give ya three guesses!) [6]
Minnie: Who is smart, successful, brilliant, handsome, and tall?
Daisy: Style, grace, gorgeous face, who has it all?
Clarabelle: Who's a blend of John and George and Ringo and Paul?
All: Mortimer, Mortimer, Mortimer Mouse! [10]
(audience booing)
Minnie: (Uh Oh, this isn't working.)
Daisy: (We'll handle this!) [13]
Minnie: He can play Othello, Hamlet, Lear and MacBeth!
His talent knocked the critics dead! [15]
Daisy: So did his breath. [16]
Clarabelle: And what a face, why Frankenstein got scared half to death
All: When he saw Mortimer, Mortimer, Mortimer Mouse! [18]
Daisy: It's working!
Minnie: Uh huh!
Minnie: I wanna see him on a stage! [19]
Daisy: There's one leaving at noon. [20]
Minnie: His popularity's huge! [21]
Clarabelle: Unlike his IQ. [22]
Minnie: He never lies, cheats or steals. [23]
Daisy: Unless nobody knows. [24]
Minnie: His talent has no end! [25]
Clarabelle: Just like his nose! [26]
Minnie: Oh, who's the best above the rest, a genius and whiz?
Daisy: Who's got the clout, without a doubt's the best in the biz?
Minnie and Clarabelle: Who's the guy who's perfect 'cause he says that he is?
All: Mortimer, Mortimer Mouse! [30]
Let's give him a hand, a tip of the hat!
Let's give him a cheer, a hearty congrat!
Clarabelle: Is he a mouse or just a big giant rat?
All: He's Mortimer Mouse!
Minnie: He brings down the house!
Clarabelle: Who cares that he's obnoxious, and a jerk and a louse?
All: He's Mortimer, Mortimer, Mortimer, Mortimer Mouse!
Daisy: We're speaking of the man he loves. [38]
Trivia
- When Clarabelle says that Mortimer is the blend of John, Paul, George, and Ringo she's talking about the popular 60s band The Beatles.