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The Broadway Music version has alternate lyrics

"Maison Des Lunes" is sung by Gaston, LeFou, and D'Arque exclusively in the Beauty and the Beast Musical.

The song is set in Gaston's Tavern as Gaston and LeFou reveal their plan to D'Arque, the Asylum caretaker. Some productions, such as the 2010 tour, however, have cut the number, and the scene is left as the dialogue.

Gaston: There's a danger I'll be thwarted
And denied my honeymoon
For the pretty thing I've courted
Refuses to swoon

So, the time has come for a murky plan
For which I turn to a murky man

LeFou: To find that fiend

Both: Where better than
The Maison des Lunes?

Gaston: I don't take this girl for granted
There's no path I haven't hewn
To her heart; no seed unplanted
No flowers unstrewn

But quite amazing to relate
She doesn't want me for her mate

LeFou: Which forces him to contemplate

Both: The Maison des Lunes

Monsieur D'Arque: I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse
But I don't see how I can be of use
For I lock people up; I'm not a "Lonely Heart's club"

I'm a cold, cold fish
I've a nasty, vicious streak

LeFou: Please speak!

Gaston: It's Belle's father who's your client
She adores the old buffoon
She'll be forced to be complaint

LeFou: She'll dance to your tune

Gaston: We get the daughter through her dad
You just pronounce the old boy mad

LeFou: And, whoosh! He's slammed up in your pad--

LeFou, D'Arque: The Maison des Lunes

Gaston: Do I make myself entirely clear?

D'Arque: It's the simplest deal of my whole foul career!

Gaston: Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments
In a dreadful state
She'll capitulate to me!

D'Arque: I'll be strapping up an inmate

LeFou: Very tightly

Gaston: Very soon

D'Arque: But please don't bring him late
Our check-in time's noon!

LeFou, D'Arque: So, wave one bachelor goodbye

Gaston: She'll be my bride

LeFou: She'd rather die
Than have her daddy ossify?

D'Arque: In my sordid saloon

All: So book the church; raise the glasses high

To the Maison des Lunes!

Broadway Version/ Off Broadway Version[]

When a man like me is thwarted

And denied his honeymoon

When the pretty thing he's courted

Refuses to swoon

Then the time has come for a murky plan

For which he turns to a murky man

To find that fiend where better than

At the Maison Des Lunes

You'll be strapping up an inmate

Very tightly, very soon

But we won't bring him in late

Check in time's noon

How sad Mourice is not too well

Prepare a five star padded cell

And lock him in for a long long spell

At the Maison Des Lunes

Do I make myself entirely clear?

It's the simplest deal of your whole foul career!

Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments

In a dreadful state

She'll capitulate to me!

Oh, oh, oh, I love incarceration

I could lock up a platoon

Hey, well imply your incarnation to a mantle of doom

So, wave one bachelor goodbye

She'll be my bride

She'd rather die

Than have her daddy ossify?

The times opportune

So book the church, raise glasses high

To the Maison des Lunes!


v - e - d
Beauty and the beast logo
Media
Films: Beauty and the Beast (video/soundtrack/The Legacy Collection) • The Enchanted Christmas (video) • Belle's Magical World (video) • Beauty and the Beast (2017) (video/soundtrack)

Shows: Sing Me a Story with BelleBelle's Tales of FriendshipHouse of MouseA Poem Is...Beauty and the Beast: A 30th Celebration (soundtrack) • Chibi Tiny Tales
Books: The Beast Within: A Tale of Beauty's PrinceThe New Adventures of Beauty and the BeastWinter WonderlandTale as Old as Time: The Art and Making of Beauty and the BeastDisney Princess BeginningsAs Old as Time (A Twisted Tale)Royal Weddings
Marvel Comics: A Chance For RomanceWardrobe's Big SurpriseThe Wishful WalkAlmost Amour!Lyrical Love Part 1 and 2Dove Tales Part 1 and 2
Video Games: Beauty and the BeastBelle's QuestRoar of the BeastA Board Game AdventureDisney InfinityDisney Infinity: 2.0 EditionKingdom HeartsKingdom Hearts IIKingdom Hearts 358/2 DaysKingdom Hearts χKingdom Hearts Unchained χ/Union χDisney Enchanted TalesDisney Emoji BlitzDisney Crossy RoadDisney Magic KingdomsBeauty and the Beast: Perfect MatchDisney Heroes: Battle ModeDisney Speedstorm
Stage: Musical (cast album)

Disney Parks
Animated Film: Beauty and the Beast Sing-AlongCastle of Magical DreamsDisney Animation BuildingDisney Friends of the MonthEnchanted Tale of Beauty and the BeastFairy Tale ForestLe Pays des Contes de FéesMickey's PhilharMagicPrincess PavilionSorcerer's WorkshopVoyage to the Crystal Grotto

Live-Action Film: Disney Movie MagicDisney Illuminations
Entertainment: A Table is WaitingBeauty and the Beast Live on StageCinderella's Surprise CelebrationCinderellabration: Lights of RomanceDisney's BelieveDisney Dreams: An Enchanted ClassicEnchanted Tales with BelleFantasmic!Feel the MagicMickey and the MagicianMickey and the Wondrous BookMickey's Magical CelebrationMickey's Magical Music WorldOnce Upon a MouseThe PavilionRoyal Princess Music CelebrationRoyal TheatreThe Golden MickeysThe Starlit Princess Waltz
Restaurants: Be Our Guest RestaurantGaston's TavernRed Rose TaverneMaurice's Treats
Shops: Bonjour! Village Gifts
Parades: Celebrate A Dream Come True ParadeDisney's Dreams On Parade: Moving OnDisney's FantillusionDisney's Magical Moments ParadeDisney's Party ExpressDisney Carnivale ParadeDisney Stars on ParadeDreaming Up!Festival of Fantasy ParadeFlights of Fantasy ParadeHappiness is Here ParadeJubilation!Mickey's Rainy Day ExpressMove It! Shake It! MousekeDance It! Street PartyMickey's Soundsational ParadePaint the Night ParadeThe Wonderful World of Disney ParadeTokyo Disneyland Electrical Parade: DreamLightsVillains Cursed CaravanWalt Disney's Parade of DreamsNightfall Glow
Fireworks: Celebrate! Tokyo DisneylandDisney Dreams!Disney EnchantmentDisney in the StarsHarmoniousIlluminate! A Nighttime CelebrationMagic, Music and MayhemThe Magic, the Memories and YouMagical: Disney's New Nighttime Spectacular of Magical CelebrationsMomentousOnce Upon a TimeWishes: A Magical Gathering of Disney DreamsWonderful World of AnimationWorld of ColorWondrous Journeys
Spring: Disney Color-Fest: A Street Party!Disney Pirate or Princess: Make Your Choice
Summer: Mickey's WaterWorks
Halloween: Frightfully Fun ParadeIt's Good to be Bad with the Disney VillainsLet's Get WickedMaze of Madness: The Nightmare Experiment ContinuesThe Disney Villains Halloween Showtime
Christmas: A Christmas Fantasy ParadeDisney Christmas StoriesDisney Holidays in HollywoodDisney Winter Magic CavalcadeRoyal Christmas Wishes

Characters
Original: BelleBeastLumiereCogsworthMrs. PottsThe Potts Children (Chip Potts) • Chef BoucheVillagersMauricePhilippeGastonLeFouBimbettesSultanWardrobeFifiEnchantressMonsieur D'ArqueWolvesMusic BoxCoat RackGaston's BuddiesThe BooksellerPalanquin

Enchanted Christmas: AngeliqueWall HangerForteFifeWine GlassesOrnamentsAxe
Belle's Magical World: WebsterCraneLe PlumeWitherspoonChandeleriaTubalooTresChaudePunch BowlFrappeEgg BeaterConcertinaSongbird
Deleted Characters: ClariceCharleyMargueriteBelle's SistersBelle's SuitorsBelle's Mother
Sing Me a Story with Belle: HarmonyBig BookLewis and Carol the Bookworms
Book Characters: Countess de la PerleThunderLoveDeath
Remake: CadenzaJean PottsMonsieur ToiletteThe KingThe Queen

Songs
Original: PrologueBelleGastonBe Our GuestSomething ThereHuman AgainBeauty and the BeastThe Mob Song

Broadway: No Matter WhatMeHomeHow Long Must This Go On?If I Can't Love HerMaison Des LunesA Change in MeEnd Duet
Enchanted Christmas: StoriesAs Long As There's ChristmasDon't Fall in LoveA Cut Above the Rest
Belle's Magical World: A Little ThoughtListen With Our Hearts
Remake: AriaHow Does a Moment Last ForeverDays in the SunEvermore

Locations
Beast's Castle (Library/Ballroom/The West Wing/Belle's Room) • Belle's CottageVillageThe Black ForestTavern
Objects
The Enchanted RoseEnchanted MirrorMaurice's Machine
See Also
Beauty and the Beast Jr.Disney RenaissanceOriginal Screenplay
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