"Les Poissons" is a song from the film The Little Mermaid. It is sung by Chef Louis (René Auberjonois). It is a short comic relief song and ends with a classic chase scene between Louis and Sebastian.
Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons
Love to chop and to serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones
Ah mais oui, ça c'est toujours délice
Les poissons, les poissons
Hee hee hee, haw haw haw
With a cleaver I hack them in two
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried
'Cause I love little fishes, don't you?
Here's something for tempting the palate
Prepared in the classic technique
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet
Then you slash off their skin
Give their belly a slice
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause it makes it taste nice
(Spoken) Zut alors, I have missed one!
Sacrebleu, what is this?
How on Earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab
Quel Dommage, what a loss
Here we go in the sauce
Now some flour I think just a dab
Now I stuff you with bread
It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead
And you're certainly lucky you are
'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot
Tout-aloo mon poisson
In a demo sung by Howard Ashman, the song's scene has changed from Chef Louis cooking crab for Prince Eric's dinner to him teaching a class of chefs. Little about it has changed except for the part where he finds Sebastian.
Ah, ze crab!
I'll give you a demonstration,
of my special preparation!
First you nap ze crab!
Zen you grab ze crab!
Zen you STAB ze crab!
From there on out, it's nothing but instrumentals, suggesting Sebastian escaped and sent the entire kitchen into disarray.
Comic Adaptation Lyrics
The comic adapted the song with a new set of lyrics, removing the main phrase with Petit Fish.
Petit Fish (3x)
Set zem out on a dish,
Rip zair skin with a knife,
chop zair huh?
At this point Chef Louis finds Sebastian and starts singing a new song.
C'est si bon!
Zis is nice!
In ze sauce wiz ze spice!
The Broadway musical version features a reprise, again sung by Chef Louis and his chef assistants as they present the dinner party with their meal, frightening Ariel with all the dead fish, until the party is crashed by Sebastian breaking out of Louis' copper pot, sending the dinner party into turmoil.
And now something truly exquisite
The creme of the creme de la creme!
Ho, ho, ho you may ask, but what is it?
It's a teensy surprise
A delectable treat
One I'm sure you'll just love.
Allez, bon appetit!
Les Poissons, Les Poissons!
Ooh la, la!
Here they are!
Say bonjour to our friends from the sea!
Chef 1: Fish fillet!
Chef 2: Fish pate!
Chef 3: Fish flambe!
Chef 4: Fish tartare!
Louis: It's a fish-how you say?-jamboree!
Chef 5: Curried bass!
Chef 6: Kippered smelt!
Chef 7: Fish-ka-bobs!
Chef 8: Tuna melt!
Louis: If it's grilled, its been grilled to a "t"!
Fish lightly toasted and roasted and steamed!
Tossed in the blender and tenderly creamed
Dish after dish like you'd wish to have dreamed!
And now for the grand finale
La piece de resistance
A delicacy, by golly
You won't find in the restaurants!
A tidbit to tease your taste buds
With that certain je ne sais quois
- "Les poissons" means "the fish(es)" in French and is plural for "le poisson".