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Gaston (song)

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"Gaston" is a song sung by Gaston, LeFou, Gaston's buddies, and the villagers in Beauty and the Beast. It was sung to cheer up Gaston after Belle rejects his marriage proposal, and was started by Lefou. It is most famous for the phrase "No one (verb)s like Gaston". The phrase would become an Internet meme, even appearing as a catchphrase for Gaston in House of Mouse.

The version of the song featured on the soundtrack notably includes a small scene where LeFou tries to spell Gaston's name. This scene was cut from the film's version.

Lyrics

LeFou: Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly!
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!

LeFou and Chorus: No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
LeFou: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
LeFou and Chorus: My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"
LeFou: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!

Chorus: No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Bimbettes: For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare
LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.
Gaston: That's right!
And every last inch of me's covered with hair!

Chorus: No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!
Chorus: Ten points for Gaston!

Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Chorus: No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
LeFou: Then goes tromping around
Wearing boots like Gaston!
Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!

[Heard only in the soundtrack version]
Chorus:
Say it again!
Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who's that hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down...
LeFou: And his name's G-A-S... T...
G-A-S-T-E...
G-A-S-T-O... ohh, ow...
Chorus: GASTON!!!

[Heard only in the film version]
Chorus: My what a guy!
GASTON!

Gaston: LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking
LeFou: A dangerous pastime
Gaston: I know,
But that wacky old coot is Belle's father
And his sanity's only so-so
Now the wheels in my head have been turning
Since I looked at that loony old man
See, I promised myself I'd be married to Belle
And right now I'm evolving a plan!

If I... *wispering*
LeFou: Yes?
Gaston: Then we... *whispering*
LeFou: No, would she?
Gaston: *whispering* Guess!
LeFou: Now I get it!
Gaston and LeFou: Let's go!

No one plots like Gaston
Gaston: Takes cheap shots like Gaston
LeFou: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!
Chorus : So his marriage we soon will be celebrating
My what a guy
Gaston!

Trivia

  • The song was originally supposed to have different lyrics. However, the test lyrics proved to be so popular during development that they were used in the final version.
  • The third issue of the Marvel Comics serial for Beauty and the Beast's ending had Gaston and LeFou engaging in similar dialogue to the beginning of the Gaston song.
  • In the reprise, the final verses in the film version imply that the entire village (exempting possibly the Bimbettes) knew and agreed with Gaston's plans of blackmail.
    • The Broadway version, however, omits this implication by having everyone leave the tavern before Gaston and LeFou start plotting. Consequentially, this resulted in LeFou and Gaston actually singing the final verses in the musical, which had previously been reserved for the chorus in the film. In addition, the comic adaptation also cuts out the song entirely and implies that, besides LeFou and the warden, no one actually knew about the plot.


v - e - d
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Media

Films: Beauty and the Beast | The Enchanted Christmas | Belle's Magical World | Beauty and the Beast (2017 film) | Video
Television: Sing Me a Story with Belle | Belle's Tales of Friendship | House of Mouse | Once Upon a Time | A Poem Is...
Books: The Beast Within: A Tale of Beauty's Prince | The New Adventures of Beauty and the Beast | Winter Wonderland | Time Flies! | Sittin' Pretty! | Tale as Old as Time: The Art and Making of Beauty and the Beast | Classic Storybook | Disney's Wonderful World of Reading | Golden Look-Look Book | Golden Sight 'n' Sound Book | Little Golden Book
Marvel Comics: A Chance For Romance | Wardrobe's Big Surprise | The Wishful Walk | Almost Amour! | Lyrical Love Part 1 and 2 | Dove Tales Part 1 and 2 | A Masterpiece for the Master | Deck the Halls for Belle with Holly | Belle, Book and Castle | Bound to Surprise | The Dessert Disaster
Video Games: Beauty and the Beast (video game) | Belle's Quest | Roar of the Beast | A Board Game Adventure | Disney Infinity | Disney Infinity: 2.0 Edition | Kingdom Hearts II | Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days | Kingdom Hearts χ | Kingdom Hearts Unchained χ
Music: Beauty and the Beast (Original Soundtrack)

Disney Parks

Art of Animation | Disney Animation Building | Fairy Tale Forest | Le Pays des Contes de Fées | Mickey's PhilharMagic | Voyage to the Crystal Grotto
Entertainment: Animazment - The Musical | A Table is Waiting | Beauty and the Beast Live on Stage | Cinderella's Surprise Celebration | Disney's Believe | Disney's Dreams: An Enchanted Classic | Disney Classics: The Music & The Magic | Disney Dreams! | Disney in the Stars | Enchanted Tales with Belle | Fantasmic! | Feel the Magic | Mickey's Magical Celebration | Mickey and the Magician | Once Upon a Time | Royal Theatre | The Golden Mickeys | World of Color
Restaurants: Be Our Guest Restaurant | Gaston's Tavern | Maurice’s Treats Snack Cart
Shops: Bonjour! Village Gifts
Parade: Disney's Magical Moments Parade | Paint The Night Parade | The Wonderful World of Disney Parade | Tokyo Disneyland Electrical Parade: DreamLights | Walt Disney's Parade of Dreams

Characters

Original: Belle | Beast | Lumière | Cogsworth | Mrs. Potts | Chip Potts | Chip's Sibling | Chef Bouche | Villagers | Maurice | Philippe | Gaston | LeFou | Bimbettes | Sultan | Wardrobe | Fifi | Enchantress | Monsieur D'Arque | Wolves | Music Box | Gaston's buddies | Pierre | Palanquin
Enchanted Christmas: Angelique | Forte | Fife
Belle's Magical World: Webster | Crane | Le Plume | Witherspoon | Chandeleria
Deleted Characters: Clarice | Marguerite | Belle's sisters | Belle's suitors | Belle's mother
Comic and Storybook Characters: Countess de la Perle | Thunder |

Songs

Original: Prologue: Beauty and the Beast | Belle | Gaston | Be Our Guest | Something There | Human Again | Beauty and the Beast | The Mob Song
Broadway: No Matter What | Me | Home | How Long Must This Go On? | If I Can't Love Her | Maison Des Lunes | A Change in Me
Enchanted Christmas: Stories | As Long As There's Christmas | Don't Fall in Love | A Cut Above the Rest
Belle's Magical World: A Little Thought | Listen With Our Hearts

Locations

Beast's Castle | Library | Belle's Cottage | Village | Ballroom | The Black Forest | Tavern | The West Wing | Belle's Room

Objects

The Enchanted Rose | Enchanted Mirror | Maurice's Machine

See Also

Beauty and the Beast (musical) | Disney Renaissance

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