- “Why is my grandma fighting with your grandma?”
- ―Jeremy Johnson
Betty Jo Flynn and Hildegard Johnson have a roller derby rematch: Betty Jo, Ferb and Candace against Hildegard, Jeremy and Suzy. But Candace is worried that if her team wins, Jeremy might not like her anymore. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is out to destroy a statue of Rutherford B. Hayes, but is plagued by a terrible headache.
Lawrence finishes practicing his speech for the Antique Thimble Symposium and looks to his family for their reactions. Phineas likes it, but Betty Jo fakes falling asleep. Linda chides her mother, who says she was only kidding and tells Lawrence the speech will be a big hit. Lawrence and Linda head to the symposium and tell them on the way out that Candace is skating at the park. Immediately after they leave, Betty Jo asks, “You want to go down and embarrass your sister at the park?” Her husband, Phineas and Ferb immediately agree.
At the park, Stacy is offering encouragement to Candace, who hasn’t been skating in a while. Candace isn’t quite as sure as she’s still a bit clumsy. Her thoughts naturally turn to wondering if Jeremy is also at the park. Within minutes, the pair comes across Phineas, Ferb, Betty and Clyde. Ferb is demonstrating his skating skill. The group invites Candace to skate with them, but Candace doesn’t want to be seen with them. She gets Stacy’s help to turn around and skates off.
Phineas asks his grandmother how she learned to skate so well. Betty Jo begins the story, but is knocked down when she bumps into Hildegard. They immediately recognize each other from their days on roller derby teams: Betty Jo from the Tri-State Bombers and Hildegard from the Saskatoon Slashers. Phineas is surprised to learn this, and Betty Jo obliges him by relating the story of the final 1957 match between the two teams: on the final lap, both teams had decided to use “the whip” to win the event, but Hildegard knocked Betty Jo down and crossed the finish line.
Betty Jo is still incensed that Hildegard cheated in that match, but Hildegard reminds her that it was an “anything goes” match. Betty Jo proposes a rematch and Hildegard accepts. As the two begin trading insults, Jeremy skates up to Candace and wonders why his grandmother is yelling at Candace’s grandmother. Candace wasn’t aware of the relationship.
Hildegard forms her team by calling Suzy over to Jeremy. Candace suggests that her grandmother choose the boys. Suzy turns on the charm and convinces everyone that the teams need to be the same (two girls and one boy). Phineas and Jeremy agree to Suzy’s suggestion, which melts Candace’s reluctance. Suzy skates off with a rapid pirouette, but not before telling Candace ominously, “See you on the track, chump.” Candace then sees a way out when she remembers the old derby track was turned into a tattoo parlor. Phineas volunteers himself and Ferb to take care of supplying a new one.
Back at the house, Perry goes on duty as Agent P and hops in a package that he places outside the front door. It is immediately picked up, shipped off by jet, processed, shipped back by jet, and delivered to a mail drop that lands it on the command chair in his underground lair. Major Monogram compliments him on the entrance, reminds him about the elevator, but quickly backs down when Agent P gives him a quelling look. The Major gives Agent P his mission: “Doofenshmirtz is up to something. I want you to get out there and put a stop to it.”
Above ground, Candace discusses her fears with Stacy. If her team wins, will Jeremy still like her? Stacy doesn't have any advice, other than boys don’t like to lose to girls. Grandpa Clyde pokes his head around the backyard fence, looking for a glue gun. Candace immediately runs over to see what's going on. She’s dismayed that he’s helping the boys with their latest scheme. Before she can call her mom, Betty Jo comes by and puts on a ferocious display of competitive spirit.
Meanwhile, Agent P rappels down the side of Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. and enters through an open window. He’s ready to fight, but Dr. Doofenshmirtz is suffering from a headache that came as a result of staying too late at a party the previous night. He activates a cage trap that falls on Agent P and begins telling him about his latest scheme. Unfortunately, his head hurts too much for a flashback, so Heinz has to settle for summing up his scheme: “I’ve tried everything to grow facial hair, it’s all so painful, I hate people with beards, et cetera, et cetera.” Doofenshmirtz finishes pushing the cage to the window and reveals the source of his annoyance. A new statue to President Rutherford B. Hayes has been erected in the statue next to his building, symbolizing the best beard that Doofenshmirtz knows of. He proclaims the statue must be destroyed as a new wave of pain strikes his head.
In the backyard, crowds have filled the new roller derby stadium and Betty Jo goes over strategy one last time. They’ll use “the whip” to launch Candace across the finish line. Candace is troubled again, imagining Jeremy being upset when his grandmother loses. She doesn't know what to do and doesn’t notice that Suzy switched her roller skates. Up in the press box, Phineas announces the contest and hands it off to Clyde as a literal color commentator, naming off three colors in place of facts about the race.
The match begins. Betty Jo and Hildegard determinedly remain neck-and-neck while Jeremy keeps pace with a struggling Candace. As the match continues, Phineas and Clyde sing Ring of Fun to the spectators. Suzy attempts to slam into Ferb. However, he avoids this by jumping over her. Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc., Dr. Doofenshmirtz continues describing his plans, pushing the cage back from the window. It's too much for him, and asks Agent P to get out of the cage so they can walk to his invention together. It’s a “Bread-inator”, which will turn the statue into bread, to be devoured by hungry magpies that will be released.
At the end of the race, both sides whip their designated team mate forward, putting Jeremy and Candace neck-and-neck. Suzy decides the time is right to make use of the roller skates Candace is wearing. A push of a button activates the rockets on the skates and Candace is driven backwards, up through the bleachers, up into the air. The blimp that has been circling the event saves her, bouncing her back down onto the track. Jeremy’s impressed by her skating.
Suzy misses the fact that Candace took hold of Jeremy’s hand and presses the button again. Both are dragged backwards. She sees her mistake and tries to skate away but is caught by the pair as they fly through the air, followed shortly by Ferb. Betty Jo and Hildegard manage to leap over them, Betty Jo landing first, and Hildegard landing on her shoulders several seconds later. They cross the finish line together.
Their age-old rivalry resurfaces as they argue about who won. It’s momentarily broken when Candace says she had fun, but the realization that being with the kids should have been more important quickly ends and the argument resumes. They decide that a race to the Hayes statue will settle the matter. Everyone except Candace and the boys immediately follows them. Over at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Doofenshmirtz’s heart just isn’t in carrying out his scheme because his head still hurts. He fires the Bread-inator out the window and Agent P turns it off, but not before the magpies are released. He walks off so he can lie down and rest.
Outside the building, the beam bounces off a mirror that’s being carried in front of the statue, arcing down into the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. It strikes the arena just after Candace goes to get her parents who had just arrived back home. When she skates back to the boys, she sees a giant loaf of bread where the arena used to be. Candace gives Phineas a suspicious stare which he returns by shrugging his shoulders and mumbling, “I don't know.”
Undeterred, Candace goes back to her mom to tell her about the loaf of bread. Linda questions her daughter about the change, but by the time both get into the backyard, the magpies have swooped through and eaten the bread. Candace stutters, and Linda thinks she lost it. Lawrence proclaims his speech was “thimbly wonderful.” Phineas finds Suzy’s remote control and activates it. Candace is driven backwards one last time into Jeremy’s arms. Ferb compliments him on his good catch, to which Candace dreamily comments that he sure is (a good catch).
The "Too Young" Line
Ferb: Good catch, Jeremy.
Perry's entrance to his lair
Perry puts himself inside a box and is sent by airmail to another country, where he is sent back to Danville by airmail and a mailman drops the box inside a mailbox, which leads to Perry's lair. "You do know we have an elevator, right?" Major Monogram points out.
Candace: Does this helmet make my butt look big?
Suzy Johnson: But it's not fair, Candace. Our team has two girls and one boy, so you need to be on your grandma's team, so it's fair. 'Cause it's not fair if it's two boys and one girl against two girls and one boy, so you'll have to skate, Candace, or it won't be fair.
Candace: Et tu Grandpa?
Clyde: Oh, I just had one. There's more if you want.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, my head hurts too much for a flashback.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: There's no beard like nineteenth-century beard, Perry the Platypus. Anyway, that horrible statue must be destroyed as a constant reminder of my folicular failure."
Phineas: Oh, wait! Candace and Jeremy are back in the race, but they're going the wrong way. And now Suzy's going the wrong way, too. At least Ferb's still going the right way. Oops! Spoke too soon.
Candace: Mom, come on, come on! The boys built a giant roller rink in the backyard!
The roller rink turns into a giant loaf of bread.
Linda: Candace, what are you talking about?
Linda: Boys, I think she's finally lost it.
Phineas: Hey, dad. How'd your speech go?
Lawrence: Well, I'd have to say it was thimbly wonderful.
- Phineas and Ferb's friends didn't appear in the episode, but Suzy did.
- Hildegard's leap over the rocket-driven skaters lasted six seconds, indicating that she was able to leap several dozen feet in the air.
- The Bread-inator's beam is affected by gravity, since it changes from a straight line after bouncing off the mirror to a downward arc across town.
- This is a brief reunion of actors Richard O'Brien (Lawrence) and Barry Boswick (Clyde) who both previously worked together on the film The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
- First time no one said "Hey, where's Perry?".
- When Candace stated that the old roller rink was torn down, it used to show the tatto parlor with electric noises and people repedately saying, "Ow!" However, this was eventually removed.
- First appearance for Clyde Flynn and Betty Jo Flynn since "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!" and "The Ballad of Badbeard".
- Episode description from a 2008 Phineas and Ferb press release:
- In the premiere episode "Crack That Whip," when Phineas, Ferb and Candace learn their Grandma Betty Jo is an awesome skater who was once part of a championship roller derby team, they set up a roller derby rink in the backyard so she can skate against her former rival, Gretchen (voiced by Vicki Lawrence), who happens to be Jeremy's grandma. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz wants to destroy a statue of a bearded man because it's mocking his inability to grow facial hair.
- The roller rink can be seen in one of the pictures from the disk in "Traffic Cam Caper".
- Jeremy is seen in the audience when Candace flies back.
- Doofenshmirtz says he is unable to grow facial hair, but in "Unfair Science Fair" he is show with a goatee, and in "Phineas and Ferb Hawiian Vacation" he has a beard.
- Crack that Whip: The title is a reference to the song Whip It, performed by the band Devo, whose beginning line is "Crack that whip!"
- Betty Jo's line "You skate like a water buffalo." may be a reference to the song "You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd".
- "Et tu" is a well known line from Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar.
- Vincent Martella as Phineas, Additional Voices
- Ashley Tisdale as Candace
- Thomas Sangster as Ferb
- Caroline Rhea as Mom and Grandma Betty Joe
- Alyson Stoner as Isabella ♦
- Dan Povenmire as Dr. Doofenshmirtz
- Jeff "Swampy" Marsh as Major Monogram, Additional Voices
- Richard O'Brien as Dad
- Dee Bradley Baker as Perry, Additional Voices
- Mitchel Musso as Jeremy
- Vicki Lawrence as Hildegard
- Kelly Hu as Stacy
- Kari Wahlgren as Suzy, Additional Voices
- Diedrich Bader as Vance Ward ♦, Additional Voices
- Barry Bostwick as Grandpa Clyde
- ♦ designates a character that did not appear in this episode
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