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Ain't No Kiddie Ride

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This better be worth a quarter.
―Buford Van Stomm

"Ain't No Kiddie Ride" is an episode of Phineas and Ferb.

Phineas and Ferb decide to trick out the kiddie rides in front of the Tri-State Mart. Determined to bust them, Candace sits in a rocket ride so it can't go anywhere until Linda shows up. Needless to say, the ride shoots off and Candace ends up on a high-flying rocket across Danville. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz plans to leave behind a legacy by burning his name into the atmosphere using his "Ozone Deplete-Inator."

Episode Summary

Linda arrives with her children at the mall. Candace rushes in to purchase some high-gloss lipstick, while Phineas and Ferb pick out some back-to-school clothes, which are identical versions of the clothes they're already wearing. Linda gives them a pile of quarters so that they can play at the arcade, and heads off to find Candace.

As the boys walk off with their money, they spot a line of coin-operated kiddie rides, one of which is a red rocket that Phineas particularly loved when he was younger. He reminisces about him and Ferb flying around outer space on the rides, though his memories are a bit over-romanticized. He wants to make the rides live up to his memories, although a conveniently-timed repairman tells them to enjoy the rides while they can, because they're going to be trashed later.

Perry enters his lair through the arcade, where Baljeet and Buford can be seen playing Dance Dance Revolution, and receives his mission. Monogram feels disgusting, because he doesn't have any deodorant. Carl tells him he can't smell a thing because he was born without nostrils, which highly intrigues Monogram.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner near his home, but he can't pick up his sandwich order - whole wheat on rye - because the waitress keeps mispronouncing his name. He leaves angrily, vowing to make them remember his name. To that end, he bought up all the cans of aerosol deodorant, bug repellent, and hairspray in the Tri-State Area so that he could burn his name into the ozone layer.

Back at the mall, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet join the boys as they unveil their souped-up kiddie rides. Buford, the self-proclaimed judge of the 'coolness' of the ride, hops into the red rocket, inserts a quarter, and shoots off into the atmosphere. As he touches back down to Earth, Candace comes rushing up to the group in anger. She sits in the red rocket ride, so that the evidence of the boys' activity would stay until their mother comes by. Buford slyly flips in a quarter in an effort to have a little fun at Candace's expense. She is then sent flying down the street. The kids then hop into an assortment of kiddie rides, which have also been tricked out by Phineas and Ferb, and fly after her as the song "Ain't No Kiddie Ride (song)" plays. As Candace flies through a barn, Baljeet's ride stops running, since his ride time had expired. He then spends the rest of the episode trying to get the machine to accept a dollar bill by smoothing it out.

Candace on the kiddie ride

Candace freaks out while riding the boys' modified kiddie ride.

When Candace reaches Danville Canyon, the rocket stops flying since her ride time has expired. She plummets to the bottom of the canyon, screaming that she hasn't got any money to re-fuel the ride. Ferb does a quick robot dance to get a quarter from some tourists. He then promptly shoots it into the rocket's coin acceptor, thereby saving Candace from crashing at the last possible second.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz tries to crush Perry with a giant robotic hand, although he should be launching his aerosol-themed scheme. Candace ends up destroying the robotic hand with her red rocket. Perry takes the fallen arm and smacks Doofenshmirtz with it, knocking him into the aerosol cans and then into his slicked-up pitfall trap.

Finally, Isabella catches the rocket with a lasso, and the kids all return to the mall. Just then, the repairman comes back and hauls off the souped-up rides, replacing them with new rides that are identical to their predecessors. Candace comes back with her mom, though her busting plot is once again foiled as she rocks on the slow-moving kiddie ride. Baljeet finally gets his kiddie ride to accept the dollar bill by having it ironed, but both the ride and the ironing board shoot off down the street, causing him to become thoroughly frustrated.

Songs

End Credits

A replay of Ain't No Kiddie Ride (song).

Running Gags

The "Too Young" Line

Linda: Aren't you a little old for kiddie rides?
Candace: No, no I'm not. Check it out.


Ferb's Line

None.

What'cha doin'?

Phineas: All done.

Isabella: Hey, Phineas. What'cha doin'?
Phineas: Oh, hey Isabella.
Buford: Hey losers.
Phineas: Oh, hey guys.
Buford: Don't tell me that your playing with that lame kiddie ride?
Phineas: We tricked it out, and now it's pretty awesome.

Buford: I'll be the judge of that, step aside.


Perry's entrance to his lair

Perry drives a racing video game into his lair.

Evil Jingle

Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner!

Memorable Quotes

Linda: I want you to pick up some nice back-to-school clothes. they walk into the store and come right back out

Wow. That was fast.
Phineas: Well, we do have a signature look.
Phineas pulls out Ferb's outfit from his bag and Ferb pulls out Phineas's. They look at each other and switch outfits
Although Perry's mixing it up a bit.

Perry's seen wearing a scarf and chatters


Phineas: (Referring to kiddie ride) You know in retrospect I may have over-romanticized those memories. But I'll bet, with a little effort and some unstable uranium isotopes, we can make them that much fun!


Major Monogram: I don't smell too bad, do I?

Carl: I can't smell a thing.
Major Monogram: Well, that's a relief. I thought maybe I was—
Carl: No, I can't smell a thing, sir, I have no sense of smell.
Major Monogram: Really?
Carl: I was born without nostrils, sir.

Major Monogram: Oh. I thought you were joking about that on your resumé.


Major Monogram: Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up every can of aerosol deodorant in the Tri-State Area, and I'm starting to smell like a science-fiction convention.


Doofenshmirtz: I just called in a to-go order for Doofenshmirtz.

Diner Worker: Hey Vic! You got an order for Doofieberg?
Doofenshmirtz: No, no, no, Doofenshmirtz! Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Surely you've heard of me?
Diner Worker: OK, order for Hans Doofen...smith? Is that right?
Doofenshmirtz: No, Doofenshmirtz! Doofen-- m-my brother's the mayor.
Diner Worker: Roger Doofenshmirtz is your brother?
Doofenshmirtz: Yes. Doofenshmirtz.
Diner Worker: And your name is...?
Doofenshmirtz: Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
(pause)
Diner Worker: Do we have an order for a Hans Doofenblatz?
Doofenshmirtz: Grr! Mark my words, you will remember the name of Heinz Doofenshmirtz! (storms out door, then peeks head back in) Could I still get my whole wheat on rye?

Diner Worker: Sure. What's your name?


Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus, how predictable. And by 'predictable', I mean completely ... um ... dictable, I guess.


Doofenshmirtz: I need a little drink of water after a tirade like that.


Candace: Ah, GlossTacular lipstick. Now I can blow up a bounce house and my lips would still be shiny!


Phineas: Isabella, we need you to get us an aerial view!
Isabella: Sure, Phineas! (soars upward) Whee!


Baljeet: Oh, my friends. I seem to have run out of fuel.

Phineas: No, you're not, Baljeet. Just put in another quarter!

Baljeet: But, all I have is a dollar! (notices that the machine also accepts dollar bills) Oh, what do you know? (he places the bill through the slot, but it comes back out. He does this two more times before rubbing it on his handlebars to smooth out the wrinkles, then puts it back in the slot, but comes back out again. He does this a fifth time, but the bill stays in the slot for a few seconds) Hm. (the bill comes back out again) Ugh, Come on!


Doofenshmirtz: Ah, water. It's like drinking wet air.


Isabella: Wow! She just flew through a barn and her lips are still shiny!


Doofenshmirtz: ... but I've got you now! (Candace flies through, destroying his mechanical hand) Wow. Nostradamus was right.


(1st Version) Doofenshmirtz: Oh nice ... nice one. Catch the villain in his own trap. That's not ironic Perry the platypus, it's ... it's cliché, that's what it is. It's just plain lazy on your part.


(2nd Version) Doofenshmirtz: Ow! You know, I don't come to your house and--Wait, these don't have any chlorofluorocarbons in them at all. These aerosol cans are completely harmless! Wh-what was I thinking?!


Phineas: Well, that was fun. Maybe tomorrow we can soup up our old bikes.

Buford: Lame!
Phineas: That's what you said about the kiddie rides.

Buford: And I was right! Until I wasn't.


Background Information

  • Candace is actually in Doofenshmirtz's lair for a couple of seconds.
  • This episode reveals that Carl was born without nostrils (which is ironic, due to his voice being rather nasally).
  • The street performer from S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants) can be seen as Candace is launched from the rocket.
  • The arcade game in this episode is one of Perry's secret entrances that could have been easily accessed by anyone, because anyone could've placed a quarter (or a special coin, possibly given in the counter) and entered his lair by accident.
  • A new location is revealed: Danville Canyon.
  • Superduper Mega Superstore makes an appearance. ("Vanessassary Roughness")
  • The robot in Phineas's flashback resembles a robot that appeared in "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!"
  • The dryer repair man from "Out of Toon" makes a reappearance, only with a different voice.
  • Phinedroids and Ferbots can be heard when Ferb is dancing.
  • When Ferb activates Candace's rocket, the time traveling music from "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" is heard in the background.
  • When Ferb is dancing, he is wearing the detective makeup from "Finding Mary McGuffin".
  • Second time Doofenshmirtz uses a mechanical hand ("The Chronicles of Meap").
  • Sixth time Ferb does not talk.
  • The man that was in the World's Pointless Records with a pig, makes his third appearance ("Toy to the World" and "Bowl-R-Ama Drama").

Production Information

  • This episode airs in Australia under the name "The Ride at Tri-State Mart".
  • Since at least May 2011, this episode has aired with Doofenshmirtz's line "Oh nice ... nice one. Catch the villain in his own trap. That's not ironic Perry the platypus, it's ... it's cliché, that's what it is. It's just plain lazy on your part. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" replaced with "Ow! You know, I don't come to your house and -- Wait, these don't have any chlorofluorocarbons in them at all. These aerosol cans are completely harmless! Wh-what was I thinking?! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" due to a complaint Disney received from the Consumer Aerosol Products Council.

International Premieres

  • June 4, 2010 (Disney XD Spain)
  • July 11, 2010 (Disney Channel Spain)
  • September 17, 2010 (Disney Channel UK)
  • November 26, 2010 (Disney Channel Scandinavia)
  • May 4, 2011 (Disney XD Scandinavia)

Errors

Phineas hair jumping!

Phineas' hair jumps out of his head

  • When Phineas and Ferb come out of the store, and Phineas says "Well, we do have that signature look," on the word "Well" his hair jumps out of the head.
  • When Buford puts the quarter in the kiddie ride, he doesn't push the red button but the kiddie ride launches anyway.
  • When Buford flies into space, he appears to have departed from the Indian Ocean, near Africa. He should have been shown flying from North America.
  • Had his plan gone through, Doofenshmirtz's name would actually be spelled backwards.
  • Buford is able to breathe in space without a spacesuit.
  • At the end of this episode, Perry appears next to Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and Buford. When they see the kiddie rides getting replaced with the new ones, Perry was gone.
  • At the end of the episode, when Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Buford are leaving, Phineas says "That's what you said about the kiddie rides." to Buford, but his mouth is not moving when he says it.
  • As he's departing, Doofenshmirtz asks to get his "whole wheat on rye". Since no other ingredients are listed, it sounds like he had ordered a bread sandwich (with however many slices of whole wheat sandwiched between rye bread).
  • When Phineas says "Although Perry's mixing it up a bit," the space between his legs is white.
  • When the kids are chasing Candace in kiddie rides and they need more quarters, they yell to Phineas, but Phineas responds with a Walkie Talkie. Baljeet doesn't have a Walkie Talkie, nor does Candace.
  • In Doofenshmirtz's explanation, he wants to remove the ozone to spell his name. But when it shows the image on the ground the area around the letters is on fire instead of the area inside the letters which had the ozone removed from it.
  • When Doofenshmirtz drinks the water, the bottle cap on the water is on.

Continuity

Allusions

  • Buford and Baljeet can be seen playing a Dance Dance Revolution-style game.
  • Nostradamus, the famous astrologer predicting the future, is mentioned twice in the episode.
  • Indiana Jones - When Perry is being chased by Doofenshmirtz with his Giant Mechanical Hand, Perry throws his hat over the hand, slides under and then catches it on the other side.

Cast

Phineas and Ferb Wiki-wordmark This page uses Creative Commons Licensed content from the The Phineas and Ferb Wiki. The list of authors can be seen in the page revision history (view authors). As with Disney Wiki, the text of The Phineas and Ferb Wiki is available under the CC-by-SA Free Documentation License.
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Media
Animated Productions: Phineas and FerbVideographyTake Two with Phineas and FerbPhineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd DimensionFeature film

Video Games: Phineas and FerbPhineas and Ferb Ride AgainDisney Channel All Star PartyPhineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd DimensionAgent P Strikes BackPhineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool StuffWhere's My Perry?Disney INFINITY (2.0) (3.0) • Phineas and Ferb: Day of Doofenshmirtz
Albums: Phineas and FerbPhineas and Ferb Holiday FavoritesPhineas and Ferb: Across the 1st and 2nd DimensionsPhineas and Ferb: Star Wars soundtrack

Disney Parks
Agent P's World Showcase Adventure

Entertainment: Phineas and Ferb's Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party
Firework: Celebrate the Magic

Characters
Major Characters: Phineas FlynnFerb FletcherCandace FlynnPerryMajor Francis MonogramHeinz DoofenshmirtzLinda FlynnLawrence Fletcher

Secondary Characters: Isabella Garcia-ShapiroBaljeet TjinderBuford Van StommJeremy JohnsonCarl KarlStacy HiranoGinger HiranoMillyKatieHollyAdyson SweetwaterGretchen
Recurring characters: Giant Floating Baby HeadDjango BrownColtraneCharlene DoofenshmirtzVanessa DoofenshmirtzRoger DoofenshmirtzVivian Garcia-ShapiroIrvingJenny BrownSuzy JohnsonDannyBobbi FabulousShermanMeapMitchNormClyde FlynnBetty Jo FlynnPinkyAlbertPeterKlimpaloonTalking ZebraMonty MonogramHildegard JohnsonReginald FletcherWinifred FletcherAloyse von Roddenstein
Minor Characters: JerryKhaka Peu PeuThe RegurgitatorBob WebberPrincess BaldegundeMelissaUnnamed Fireside GirlsAgent EBrobotsDrill SergeantBuck BuckersonTiana WebberJack JohnsonMrs. JohnsonWendyEliza FletcherNicoletteMandyThaddeus and ThorMindyAmandaLucy FletcherAdrian FletcherBeppo BrownDr. HiranoAnnabelle JohnsonSaraBrigitte, Josette, and ColletteMishti PatelLiam McCrackenRodrigoMorgGlenda WilkinsDr. GevaarlijkHeinz Doofenshmirtz's motherBlanca DishonProfessor PoofenplotzLyla LolliberryBalloony • Corn Colossus
Guest Characters: Santa ClausKim Possible PinocchioBaby BaboonThor OdinsonSpider-ManHulkIron ManRed SkullNick FuryVenomWhiplashMODOK

Episodes
Season One: "Rollercoaster" • "Candace Loses Her Head" • "The Fast and the Phineas" • "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror" • "The Magnificent Few" • "S'Winter" • "Are You My Mummy?" • "Flop Starz" • "Raging Bully" • "Lights, Candace, Action!" • "Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face!" • "Tree to Get Ready" • "It's About Time!" • "Jerk De Soleil" • "Toy to the World" • "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" • "A Hard Day's Knight" • "I, Brobot" • "Mom's Birthday" • "Journey to the Center of Candace" • "Run Away Runway" • "I Scream, You Scream" • "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World" • "The Ballad of Badbeard" • "Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together" • "Ready for the Bettys" • "The Flying Fishmonger" • "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!" • "Greece Lightning" • "Leave the Busting to Us!" • "Crack That Whip" • "The Best Lazy Day Ever" • "Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C." • "Voyage to the Bottom of Buford" • "Put That Putter Away" • "Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?" • "Traffic Cam Caper" • "Bowl-R-Ama Drama" • "The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein" • "Oil on Candace" • "Unfair Science Fair" • "Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)" • "Out to Launch" • "Got Game?" • "Comet Kermillian" • "Out of Toon" • "Hail Doofania!"

Season Two: "The Lake Nose Monster" • "Interview With a Platypus" • "Tip of the Day" • "Attack of the 50 Foot Sister" • "Backyard Aquarium" • "Day of the Living Gelatin" • "Elementary My Dear Stacy" • "Don't Even Blink" • "Chez Platypus" • "Perry Lays an Egg" • "Gaming the System" • "The Chronicles of Meap" • "Thaddeus and Thor" • "De Plane! De Plane!" • "Let's Take a Quiz" • "At the Car Wash" • "Oh, There You Are, Perry" • "Swiss Family Phineas" • "Hide and Seek" • "That Sinking Feeling" • "The Baljeatles" • "Vanessassary Roughness" • "No More Bunny Business" • "Spa Day" • "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" • "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown" • "Bubble Boys" • "Isabella and the Temple of Sap" • "Cheer Up Candace" • "Fireside Girl Jamboree" • "The Bully Code" • "Finding Mary McGuffin" • "Picture This" • "Nerdy Dancin'" • "What Do It Do?" • "Atlantis" • "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!" • "Just Passing Through" • "Candace's Big Day" • "I Was a Middle Aged Robot" • "Suddenly Suzy" • "Undercover Carl" • "Hip Hip Parade" • "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers" • "Ain't No Kiddie Ride" • "Not Phineas and Ferb" • "Phineas and Ferb-Busters!" • "The Lizard Whisperer" • "Robot Rodeo" • "The Beak" • "She's the Mayor" • "The Lemonade Stand" • "Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation" • "Summer Belongs to You!" • "Nerds of a Feather" • "Wizard of Odd" • "We Call it Maze" • "Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!" • "The Secret of Success" • "The Doof Side of the Moon" • "Split Personality" • "Brain Drain" • "Rollercoaster: The Musical!" • "Make Play" • "Candace Gets Busted"
Season Three: "The Great Indoors" • "Canderemy" • "Run, Candace, Run" • "Last Train to Bustville" • "Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" • "The Belly of the Beast" • "Moon Farm" • "Ask a Foolish Question" • "Misperceived Monotreme" • "Candace Disconnected" • "Magic Carpet Ride" • "Bad Hair Day" • "Meatloaf Surprise" • "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted" • "A Real Boy" • "Mommy Can You Hear Me?" • "Road Trip" • "Tour de Ferb" • "Skiddley Whiffers" • "My Fair Goalie" • "Bullseye!" • "That's the Spirit" • "The Curse of Candace" • "Escape from Phineas Tower" • "Lotsa Latkes" • "Ferb Latin" • "A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas" • "Tri-Stone Area" • "Doof Dynasty" • "Excaliferb" • "Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" • "Monster from the Id" • "Gi-Ants" • "The Remains of the Platypus" • "Mom's in the House" • "Perry the Actorpus" • "Let's Bounce" • "Bully Bromance Break Up" • "Quietest Day Ever" • "Doonkleberry Imperative" • "Meapless in Seattle" • "Delivery of Destiny" • "Buford Confidential" • "The Mom Attractor" • "Cranius Maximus" • "Agent Doof" • "Minor Monogram" • "What a Croc!" • "Sleepwalk Surprise" • "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" • "Sipping with the Enemy" • "Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets" • "Doofapus" • "Norm Unleashed" • "Where's Perry?" • "Ferb TV" • "When Worlds Collide" • "What'd I Miss?" • "Road to Danville" • "This is Your Backstory" • "Blackout!"
Season Four: "For Your Ice Only " • "Happy New Year!" • "Fly On the Wall" • "Bully Bust" • "My Sweet Ride" • "Der Kinderlumper" • "Sidetracked" • "Primal Perry" • "Mind Share" • "Backyard Hodge Podge" • "Bee Day" • "Bee Story" • "Great Balls of Water" • "Where's Pinky?" • "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne" • "Knot My Problem" • "Just Desserts" • "La Candace-Cabra" • "Happy Birthday, Isabella" • "Love at First Byte" • "One Good Turn" • "Mission Marvel" • "Thanks But No Thanks" • "Troy Story" • "Druselsteinoween" • "Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror" • "Face Your Fear" • "Cheers for Fears" • "Steampunx" • "Just Our Luck" • "Return Policy" • "Live and Let Drive" • "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer" • "Father's Day" • "Imperfect Storm" • "The Return of the Rogue Rabbit" • "It's No Picnic" • "The Klimpaloon Ultimatum" • "Operation Crumb Cake" • "Mandace" • "Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars" • "Lost in Danville" • "The Inator Method" • "Night of the Living Pharmacists" • "Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension" • "Doof 101" • "Act Your Age" • "Last Day of Summer" • "O.W.C.A. Files"

Locations
Locations at or near Danville: DanvilleMr. Slushy FranchiseDoofenshmirtz Evil IncorporatedFlynn-Fletcher HouseAtlantisGoogolplex MallOld Abandoned Amusement Park

Other Locations: AfricaEnglandNew YorkBig BenMarsTokyoLondonChinaIndiaCanadaChileHawaii

Selected Songs
Today is Gonna Be a Great DaySummer Belongs to YouCity of LoveJump Right InLet it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it SnowPerry the Platypus ThemeGitchee Gitchee GooWhere Did We Go Wrong?BustedLittle BrothersWhat'cha Doin?Carpe DiemS.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants)I'm MeRollercoasterThe Ballad of KlimpaloonEvil for Extra CreditBackyard BeachHappy New YearGreat to Be a BabySerious FunCurtain Call/Time Spent Together